The Ultimate Pink Ticket

Can you believe i have had the ultimate pink ticket all weekend, and what did i do with it?

.........Stayed in, ate popcorn, watched girlie movies and cried a lot of course!!

I was hoping to develop cabin fever that would make me want to rush out of the house and hit the town and paint it a great shade of maroon or something wicked .... but alas, cabin fever proves totally elusive and i find I've stayed in the entire weekend!

The reason for the pink ticket is that my son's been away all weekend at his father's wedding. I'm not sure why i feel so down about it all - I mean, I wanted that divorce too ... 'Didn't i?' It's just that selfish thing inside me that says; 'Well, I may not have wanted him, but that doesn't mean i want anyone else to have him either!' I mean he was my husband first, and is the father of my gorgeous son, and ............... Oh Bollocks, I sound like a child having a tantrum and as all good mothers know, we should never give in to a tantrum. (But as all great mothers know, we often do just to keep the peace!)

But still, I'm struggling a little here .... he could have fought for us a little don't you think? .....

Anyway, enough of that. I got the best bits out of the marriage - my son and the dogs - hey who needs the husband? I've got enough on my plate as it is without having added extras on board!


I've got the prize winning Rottweiler running around the house with a bucket on his head after having an operation on his eye. He's taking out everything in his wake as he can't seem to work out that his head is three times its normal size - which being a Rottweiler isn't small on a good day!

It's mayhem here running about the house after him diving to save vases, cups and all other breakables from the tables as he crashes by. And the walls in the whole house have paint chips coming off where he's crashed his way through doorways, round corners and down the corridor.

They fail to mention that down at the vets when you check them in. All they tell you is 'I'm sorry, we really need to perform this operation to improve his quality of life' - Well they forget about the owners quality of life when they have to pay off the bills the operation incurs!

What they should say is 'Please take out a large bank loan in order to pay our bill, and a 2nd mortgage wouldn't go amiss as you'll have to redecorate the house once the dog comes home with an enormous bucket on his head for 10 days and completely destroys your decor!

Anyway - he's worth it - as my son always says 'No-one can resist a puppy dog pout!'

....... But hell, who am i trying to convince here that I'm fine with this 'he's getting remarried' thing by prattling on about my dogs? ..... You or Me?

...... Personally i don't think either.

Excuse me whilst i go and open another box of tissues.

Shocking gossip from the ladies that lunch.

We had half term last week, and after sending my son off most days with various friends and their mothers to be duly entertained whilst I worked.

By Friday I was feeling a little guilty after dumping my son all week and missing out on the motherly children bonding action so I decided to join them for lunch. I dutifully went into the office until lunchtime then bailed in order to join in with the ‘ladies that lunch’ and see what they got up to in an ordinary day at the ‘office’.

I must say, I did struggle to keep up with the conversation whilst they discussed how they’d invented the latest “Gosh you must give me the recipe, it’s fabulous” talk, and who’s little precious darling was the latest to join the pony club, but as the afternoon wore on and some of the ladies had to move on for hair appointments, gardening lessons and polo clinics, the conversation certainly woke me up.

Well, I can tell you, I had absolutely no idea what these SAHMs (Stay At Home Mums) got up to. There was the ‘who’s had a boob job and who’s booked in for one’ conversation which I found quite enlightening. Then it was ‘who’s done who’s latest hairdo’- which I must say I also struggled with a little as I’m that girl who has her hair cut once a year – and only when I’ve been to the annual shaggy dog show and realise I could qualify for the ‘shaggiest dog in show’!
But then ………. well it got riveting.

Turns out there are a group of mothers who spend most afternoons drinking wine and putting various narcotic substances up their noses! …. I was floored!

I mean no one's immune to the odd glass of wine at lunch but really ...

Right in amongst our midst is another world of ‘Desperate Housewives’ I’ve only ever read about and seen on TV. Apparently there’s one woman – who it seems is talk of the town – who’s husband (although they are still married – happily probably very questionably) has gone to court to get custody of his children. Four of them I understand – all below the age of 6! Talk is that he’s a ‘little worried’ – understatement of the year I should imagine – about the welfare of his kids as Mrs whoever she is has been a little unpredictable with regards looking after the children as she’s either pissed or stoned 90% of the time it seems and keeps wandering off with or without the kids in tow.

Well I’ve got to say – thank god for house staff in this part of the world because by the sounds of it, I think they are probably the only ones keeping any sense of stability together at all for those poor children.
I’m sure in any other part of the world, social services would have been round in a flash and whipped them all into care by now, but here we don’t have any kind of organisation that remotely resembles social services so it falls on those who know her to try and make her see some sense but I think perhaps she probably just offers them a drink and they all get stuck in for the rest of the afternoon and that’s that.
I did ask why she kept having all these children – as I understand one of them is still only a few months old – but evidently its because ‘she wants to prove she can at least do motherhood’ – but can she?????? ……….. I don’t bloody think so! And what kind of strange way is that of proving it wouldn’t you say, and funnily enough it turns out that one of the kids ‘isn’t quite right’!
……… Nooooooooo