Now it seems I have been tagged with a UU - not quite sure what a UU is but it's probably not dissimilar to being hit with a YoYo, as it seems just as painful!
Anyway this is how it goes; the UU must list the three things their husband (or wife) (or significant other!) (could be a pet, in lieu of all of the above.) (no pet? got a plant?) (if you have none of the above, you should go get one.) knows about them. The rules of this UU are that at the end of the post, the player then tags a randomly chosen number of people and posts their blog names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged. The comment must end with the word 'pthththth'.
Weeeelllllll, am I bovvered??
Well, yes actually, totally, I must say.
For a start my significant others are all dogs who, when asked, what they knew about me seemed to have nothing more interesting to say than the odd snuffle, grunt and the odd fart!
I suppose that pretty much sums up my life, but really I thought I could at least get a little more sense out of them. Failing that, and all my pot plants who are totally UNinterested (to say the least), I thought I'd ask my son. I mean he's had to live with me and my madness for the total 8 years of his life and if anyone knows me (because I can assure you that my ex-husband certainly didn't), it'll be that small boy.
So what did he have to say??
1. I love my horses
2. I love our dogs
3. I like to kiss him and am happy when he does chores, like washing the car or doing the washing up!!
I'm quite perturbed by number 3, as I never realised how miserable I must be!! The amount of times my son has helped with cleaning of the car OR doing the washing up I could most probably count on the one hand. Surely that means that I could count the number of happy times in the last 8 years of my life also on one hand!!
Nah, that's not true - I really am quite a jolly character most of the time - except of course when I'm not, and the little chap's right - I'd be bloody ecstatic if he did decide to wash the car or do the washing up!
And now, everyone look right, and if you see your name on my list of "FAB blogs", you can consider yourselves officially UU'd, so pthththth to you all .........
(PS. All complaints to be addressed to Belle at 'Diary of a Housewife' - as she got us ALL into this. :) )
Showing posts with label ex-husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ex-husband. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The Ultimate Pink Ticket
Can you believe i have had the ultimate pink ticket all weekend, and what did i do with it?
.........Stayed in, ate popcorn, watched girlie movies and cried a lot of course!!
I was hoping to develop cabin fever that would make me want to rush out of the house and hit the town and paint it a great shade of maroon or something wicked .... but alas, cabin fever proves totally elusive and i find I've stayed in the entire weekend!
The reason for the pink ticket is that my son's been away all weekend at his father's wedding. I'm not sure why i feel so down about it all - I mean, I wanted that divorce too ... 'Didn't i?' It's just that selfish thing inside me that says; 'Well, I may not have wanted him, but that doesn't mean i want anyone else to have him either!' I mean he was my husband first, and is the father of my gorgeous son, and ............... Oh Bollocks, I sound like a child having a tantrum and as all good mothers know, we should never give in to a tantrum. (But as all great mothers know, we often do just to keep the peace!)
But still, I'm struggling a little here .... he could have fought for us a little don't you think? .....
Anyway, enough of that. I got the best bits out of the marriage - my son and the dogs - hey who needs the husband? I've got enough on my plate as it is without having added extras on board!
I've got the prize winning Rottweiler running around the house with a bucket on his head after having an operation on his eye. He's taking out everything in his wake as he can't seem to work out that his head is three times its normal size - which being a Rottweiler isn't small on a good day!
It's mayhem here running about the house after him diving to save vases, cups and all other breakables from the tables as he crashes by. And the walls in the whole house have paint chips coming off where he's crashed his way through doorways, round corners and down the corridor.
They fail to mention that down at the vets when you check them in. All they tell you is 'I'm sorry, we really need to perform this operation to improve his quality of life' - Well they forget about the owners quality of life when they have to pay off the bills the operation incurs!
What they should say is 'Please take out a large bank loan in order to pay our bill, and a 2nd mortgage wouldn't go amiss as you'll have to redecorate the house once the dog comes home with an enormous bucket on his head for 10 days and completely destroys your decor!
Anyway - he's worth it - as my son always says 'No-one can resist a puppy dog pout!'
....... But hell, who am i trying to convince here that I'm fine with this 'he's getting remarried' thing by prattling on about my dogs? ..... You or Me?
...... Personally i don't think either.
Excuse me whilst i go and open another box of tissues.
.........Stayed in, ate popcorn, watched girlie movies and cried a lot of course!!
I was hoping to develop cabin fever that would make me want to rush out of the house and hit the town and paint it a great shade of maroon or something wicked .... but alas, cabin fever proves totally elusive and i find I've stayed in the entire weekend!
The reason for the pink ticket is that my son's been away all weekend at his father's wedding. I'm not sure why i feel so down about it all - I mean, I wanted that divorce too ... 'Didn't i?' It's just that selfish thing inside me that says; 'Well, I may not have wanted him, but that doesn't mean i want anyone else to have him either!' I mean he was my husband first, and is the father of my gorgeous son, and ............... Oh Bollocks, I sound like a child having a tantrum and as all good mothers know, we should never give in to a tantrum. (But as all great mothers know, we often do just to keep the peace!)
But still, I'm struggling a little here .... he could have fought for us a little don't you think? .....
Anyway, enough of that. I got the best bits out of the marriage - my son and the dogs - hey who needs the husband? I've got enough on my plate as it is without having added extras on board!
I've got the prize winning Rottweiler running around the house with a bucket on his head after having an operation on his eye. He's taking out everything in his wake as he can't seem to work out that his head is three times its normal size - which being a Rottweiler isn't small on a good day!
It's mayhem here running about the house after him diving to save vases, cups and all other breakables from the tables as he crashes by. And the walls in the whole house have paint chips coming off where he's crashed his way through doorways, round corners and down the corridor.
They fail to mention that down at the vets when you check them in. All they tell you is 'I'm sorry, we really need to perform this operation to improve his quality of life' - Well they forget about the owners quality of life when they have to pay off the bills the operation incurs!
What they should say is 'Please take out a large bank loan in order to pay our bill, and a 2nd mortgage wouldn't go amiss as you'll have to redecorate the house once the dog comes home with an enormous bucket on his head for 10 days and completely destroys your decor!
Anyway - he's worth it - as my son always says 'No-one can resist a puppy dog pout!'
....... But hell, who am i trying to convince here that I'm fine with this 'he's getting remarried' thing by prattling on about my dogs? ..... You or Me?
...... Personally i don't think either.
Excuse me whilst i go and open another box of tissues.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Life Sucks !
Just popped into the docs for a harmless prescription to help me through 'fruitcakedom', with the added bonus of helping my stressed out irritable bowel!
Well, i ask you. I had been in and out almost scott free when;
First of all I met a friend in the reception i hadn't seen in ages who asked me how i was. - Bad idea considering;
a) I was in the doctors surgery
b) Was awfully red eyed and weepy - and ALL women should know the drill - NEVER be nice to someone when she is very obviously on the brink of tears! - It is the sure way to crack the gate to full on waterworks and means your nice friendly doctor is in danger of flooding her office and will almost certainly have to change into a rubber frock!
c) My ex-husband's getting married today to the thin, pretty chick with a face of stone. (They'll be no laughter lines on her when she's old and grey, let me tell you!)
Then - can you believe - to top it all - the nurse caught me and said she needed to weigh me! ........ Weigh Me! ...... Is she kidding?!?! ............. Well apparently not.
I did suggest perhaps "Far Too Much" or "Extra Large" might do it if she just wrote that down as a 'sure guess' without the full blown embarrassment of climbing on the scales - but Oh No, she absolutely insisted!
She said if it would make me feel better i could take my shoes off - like that make a shed load of difference!! - I mean where were my 5kg high heels when i needed them!
And tell me this - how come i didn't get the only decent symptom on the 'Irritable Bowel' list, of 'loss of weight'. I want that symptom and not just the gut wrenching cramps, 'Michelin' man looks and serious wind that has my son shouting 'Mum, mum, the dog's done a windy again!' every 5 minutes.
(Hey, perhaps one day I'll let on it's really me and stop kicking the dog!)
.......................... Life, ... it's so not fair!!
Well, i ask you. I had been in and out almost scott free when;
First of all I met a friend in the reception i hadn't seen in ages who asked me how i was. - Bad idea considering;
a) I was in the doctors surgery
b) Was awfully red eyed and weepy - and ALL women should know the drill - NEVER be nice to someone when she is very obviously on the brink of tears! - It is the sure way to crack the gate to full on waterworks and means your nice friendly doctor is in danger of flooding her office and will almost certainly have to change into a rubber frock!
c) My ex-husband's getting married today to the thin, pretty chick with a face of stone. (They'll be no laughter lines on her when she's old and grey, let me tell you!)
Then - can you believe - to top it all - the nurse caught me and said she needed to weigh me! ........ Weigh Me! ...... Is she kidding?!?! ............. Well apparently not.
I did suggest perhaps "Far Too Much" or "Extra Large" might do it if she just wrote that down as a 'sure guess' without the full blown embarrassment of climbing on the scales - but Oh No, she absolutely insisted!
She said if it would make me feel better i could take my shoes off - like that make a shed load of difference!! - I mean where were my 5kg high heels when i needed them!
And tell me this - how come i didn't get the only decent symptom on the 'Irritable Bowel' list, of 'loss of weight'. I want that symptom and not just the gut wrenching cramps, 'Michelin' man looks and serious wind that has my son shouting 'Mum, mum, the dog's done a windy again!' every 5 minutes.
(Hey, perhaps one day I'll let on it's really me and stop kicking the dog!)
.......................... Life, ... it's so not fair!!
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