This calls for some serious action!

Right that's it, I've had quite enough of this "I will speak to him", "No, I won't speak to him", "Yes I might", but then again "No, I just might not!"

If Mr Odinga and Mr Kibaki will not get on with talking to each other then I'm afraid we have absolutely no choice but to call .......

................ SUPERNANNY !

If you boys won't behave like grown ups then it is completely impossible to treat you like grown ups, so ;

"If you won't play nicely then both of you will go right now and sit on the 'naughty' step! - and you'll stay there for at least five minutes per year of your age, so Raila, you'll be there at least a week, and as for you Mr Kibaki, well you could be there an awfully long time so i suggest you take a good book with you!"

"When you're both good and ready, you'll both come and apologise to each other properly, and if you are not prepared to do that, then I'm afraid there will be no dinner for either of you, and then perhaps you may get just a slight inkling of what the half a million displaced Kenyans are going through just because of your inane bickering!"

- Move over Mr. Annan, we can do this without you after all, (as I do realise from reading the new headline on your imminent arrival; "Kofi Annan MAY jet in sometime next week", that we perhaps shouldn't rely on you too much Sir. And if there's a chance of a spot of bother between now and whenever it is your flight is booked for, (and seeing as tonight's headline is '3 more hacked to death in a Nairobi slum'), I'm sure chances are you'll be diving straight back under that duvet.)


PS. If you happen to be reading this Ms Frost, I'll be quite happy to be your advisor, for a large fee of course.
(Only thing is honey, I do actually have a child so imagine that could be a bit of a disadvantage as I do realise that you're not overly keen on the little blighters.)

See post I did last year of the marvellous, child loving woman .......
http://lostwhitekenyan.blogspot.com/2007/10/supernanny-jo-frost.html

Supernanny: Jo Frost

Now could someone please talk me through the supernanny and her latest book “Jo Frost’s Confident Baby Care”?

I’m sorry but why would anyone take heed of words spouted by some dominatrix style finger wagging stuffy chick whose never actually had a child of her own, and let her dictate to you what is good and bad for your own baby, and by any stretch of the imagination think you feel ‘confident’ about any of it?!?!

Has she been to that rock bottom place in her life where all you want to do is throttle the little blighter and drop kick them off the balcony of your 10th story apartment?

Has she ever experienced the nightmare and indignity of ‘childbirth’ in which you’re made to endure hours and hours of pain more awful than you could ever dream to inflict on your worst enemy, whilst some nurse or midwife rummages about in your nether regions and announces “Not yet 10cm dilated dear, whatever you do don’t push” – and you want to punch her really really hard – and probably do if she makes the mistake of standing too close to either of your arms!

Has she ever had to live in a sleep deprived state of despair listening to ear splitting screams that you think will never end?

Has she ever had to walk about with the inevitable blow up rubber ring tucked under her arm everywhere she went on which she has to humiliatingly sit down on to get any respite from major discomfort from bits of your body that have been battered, bruised and most likely stitched up?

Has she?? Has she??
Nope, didn’t think so!

You go girl, just you wait and see how the parenting techniques pan out for you darling if you ever do have a baby, and all you want to do is curl up in the corner and quietly fade away, and meanwhile she’s finger wagging at you from the inner pages of her bestseller saying; “Don’t give in. Routine is king!”, and meanwhile back here in the real world, you’ll do absolutely anything for 10 minutes peace. And if that means sticking your baby on the boob every half an hour just to keep them from incessant ear-splitting screaming, then so be it!

I’m afraid good, solid, common sense goes straight out the window, because if it doesn’t, the likelihood is the baby will!