If Mr Odinga and Mr Kibaki will not get on with talking to each other then I'm afraid we have absolutely no choice but to call .......
................ SUPERNANNY !
If you boys won't behave like grown ups then it is completely impossible to treat you like grown ups, so ;
"If you won't play nicely then both of you will go right now and sit on the 'naughty' step! - and you'll stay there for at least five minutes per year of your age, so Raila, you'll be there at least a week, and as for you Mr Kibaki, well you could be there an awfully long time so i suggest you take a good book with you!"
"When you're both good and ready, you'll both come and apologise to each other properly, and if you are not prepared to do that, then I'm afraid there will be no dinner for either of you, and then perhaps you may get just a slight inkling of what the half a million displaced Kenyans are going through just because of your inane bickering!"
- Move over Mr. Annan, we can do this without you after all, (as I do realise from reading the new headline on your imminent arrival; "Kofi Annan MAY jet in sometime next week", that we perhaps shouldn't rely on you too much Sir. And if there's a chance of a spot of bother between now and whenever it is your flight is booked for, (and seeing as tonight's headline is '3 more hacked to death in a Nairobi slum'), I'm sure chances are you'll be diving straight back under that duvet.)
PS. If you happen to be reading this Ms Frost, I'll be quite happy to be your advisor, for a large fee of course.
(Only thing is honey, I do actually have a child so imagine that could be a bit of a disadvantage as I do realise that you're not overly keen on the little blighters.)
See post I did last year of the marvellous, child loving woman .......
http://lostwhitekenyan.blogspot.com/2007/10/supernanny-jo-frost.html
4 comments:
Nanny McPhee, Mary Poppins or Supernanny for president? It is not a joking matter but this country needs a helping hand right now and the touch of magic of the first two would go along way to putting the country and its people back on its feet.
lol, why am i laughing?! but that's funny. just out of curiosity, how successful is frost's methods. when she was on channel 4 i always switched channels. first, coz i am a guy and bila kid and 2 coz i found her really off putting- i just won't mention what it is that did it lol...but really maybe she can sort the nonsense out coz it'll definitely look good on telly! that's the only measure there is ama? plus she i read somewhere she already conquered the u.s. being big over there gives her a head start over koffi who never really conquered america.
doubt if you'll get a job mzu-chick...jo's throughly self sufficient- she has to be to get on telly!
Anon - not sure i could stomach Supernanny for President - but if she just got everyone under control (as she claims she can), that would be fine!
Zed - Have to agree with you there about switching the woman off if she dares show her face on my TV. No idea about whether her methods work and I certainly won't be trying them myself. The reason I think she'd make a great negotiator though is that evil look she has on her face that says "Don't mess with me!" - even Kibaki and Raila wouldn't be able to disagree with her!
The thought of Tweedle-Kibaki and Tweedle-Odinga being dealt with by Super-nanny for fighting over their rattle is a cheery thought in the present crisis.
And , although a mere man, I can relate to the drop-kick feeling, too. I brought up two kids, fostered 8 South African street kids, have a girlfriend with two small children, and support an orphanage in Kisii (hence the handle, Dad mzungu).
I may have been lucky, but screaming sessions always come to an end in my experience.
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