Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Whatever you can do, I can do better.

Well after a whole 24 hours of not a single tear gas canister being fired – in the centre of Nairobi anyhow – there was a turn of events. Not a good one sadly, although the angel Annan is expected to land any time now so perhaps he will be a small light in a dark place (not sure I’m convinced but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now and at least give him a chance to open his mouth). But today the PNU supporters decided it was far too quiet for their liking and seeing as it seems the ODM supporters seem to have gone back to work today, well then now it must be their turn surely for a spot of demonstrating – I mean, at the end of the day we are all fighting for democracy aren’t we, and we don’t want those Ninja Turtles getting too comfy sitting about in their posh padded outfits, best put them to good use - so they took to the streets.

PNU supporters today demonstrated about the ODM demonstrators demonstrating.
Er – Work that one out! ‘

All answers on a postcard to;

“What on earth were they thinking”,
Democracy Headquarters,
Parliament Building,
Nairobi City Centre.

Well, once the PNU supporters had had their say and a few cans of tear gas and a volley of bullets fired at them, they dispersed in order for all the newly sworn in Members of Parliament to be able to get down to the cash office to pick up their small salaries and allowances that they were ‘due’ for January.

Seeing as they actually had to attend parliament for the one whole day this month, and admittedly a long day, especially if your name began with something like ‘Y’ as they swore the MP’s in, in alphabetical order and the last ones were still going through the motions at 1.30 in the morning. And naturally we completely understand that during that 12 hours of so that they had to sit in ‘the house’, they did actually have to get off their backsides at least 4 times for a bit of a vote, oh and then of course the one time they had to go and swear in to a government that none of them seem to believe in, and yes, all the shouting that had to be done as well.

But it’s OK people, you take the full January salary for that one day as we completely understand what a incredibly stressful day it was for you all, so best you have Kshs 300,000/- as your basic salary just for being so, well, er, basic really, and then realising that can’t possibly keep you in the manner in which you wish to become accustomed, well then you can get yourself another 60,000/- for entertainment, 70,000/- for your rent, 250,000/- for vehicle maintenance (as of course we realise how much those damn helicopter spare parts can be), 40,000/- committee attendance allowance (whatever that is), and another 50,000/- constituency allowance.

Then of course in case the 750,000/- or so is not enough don’t you worry about a thing because there’s another 3.3Million shillings loan standing by for you so that you can buy that flash Mercedes you’ve always fancied, and then of course another 10Million, available for a house, all interest free obviously.

(By the way the shilling hangs out around 65 to the US dollar these days so we’re talking a salary of around US$11,500 or so with US$50,000 for the car loan and just over US$150,000 for the house loan.)

No wonder there is (so far anyway – likely to be many more before the end of the week) cases already in court where MP’s are challenging constituency election results, I mean with that sort of money at stake, monthly ………..

Sorry, just realised I’ve got to rush ………….
- Did I not tell you I was disputing the MP’s seat for the “MyGodThat’sALotOfCash” constituency………
I must get to court!


Primal Sneeze said...

Here's your "cheery up" bit for the day:

Remember you wrote about Serious Christmas Shopping?

Well this might beat that.


Thanks Primal for the 'cheery up' bit and glad to see your Irish security is incredibly effective. Don't worry though - you let them know that we could probably release a couple of Ninja Turtles for a bit of training on how to fire tear gas and live rounds at every given opportunity, and ask questions later !