Will someone please get the German authorities a sense of humour!!

Saw these headlines come through on CNN last night – “Parents try to sell baby on eBay”, and my immediate reaction was;

“Brilliant, What a FAB idea!”

Apparently the baby was 7 months old and labelled as ‘Nearly New’. I laughed so hard. The Germans however did NOT. They immediately sent the mother for psychiatric help and took the baby into care!!

I mean, Yes, I do believe it takes a special kind of person to actually go ahead and advertise their baby for sale on eBay, and for just one Euro do you mind, but please tell me of one parent in this world who at some time or another in their child’s life – even if it was just for a split second – didn’t think that they may actually even pay someone to take them away, and to gain one whole Euro in exchange would be a bargain actually!!

Personally I would have added in a line;
"Toys included".

Like I said it probably takes a slightly warped person to really carry it off, but the parents did try to explain that it was done as a joke and they really would never have gone ahead with it. But Oh No, the German authorities would have none of it.

Don’t tell me that people who do deal in any form of child trade – which I will be the first to condemn wholeheartedly let me tell you – would ever in a million years genuinely traffic children by advertising on eBay for goodness sake.

Now this is headlines on every news channel, and all I can say is I hope eBay is making some great marketing sales out of this. My first retort as 'Marketing Director' for them would be to put out a great ad amplifying the fact that you would be bloody amazed what you can buy on eBay these days!!

You're probably all jumping up and down at your computers by now going "Oh My God, what type of woman is this Mzungu Chick", but perhaps you might look at the fact that ALL parents in the entire world probably need a little psychiatric help from time to time when it's all going pear shaped at their house, and yes, more than likely they'll never dare say it OUT LOUD, because of course to all of us, our own children are the most perfect little darlings that ever walked this earth, and we'll all be the first to tell you such. But once in a while, the thought of jumping off the fridge freezer to get away from the noise, the guilt and the continuous heartache known as 'parenthood' doesn't seem like such a crazy idea.

At least this has taught me one small lesson in life;

For Goodness Sake, whatever you're thinking, don't let those thoughts escape out of your head!

Personally I think we should all get a grip, and SMILE ! :)

Supernanny: Jo Frost

Now could someone please talk me through the supernanny and her latest book “Jo Frost’s Confident Baby Care”?

I’m sorry but why would anyone take heed of words spouted by some dominatrix style finger wagging stuffy chick whose never actually had a child of her own, and let her dictate to you what is good and bad for your own baby, and by any stretch of the imagination think you feel ‘confident’ about any of it?!?!

Has she been to that rock bottom place in her life where all you want to do is throttle the little blighter and drop kick them off the balcony of your 10th story apartment?

Has she ever experienced the nightmare and indignity of ‘childbirth’ in which you’re made to endure hours and hours of pain more awful than you could ever dream to inflict on your worst enemy, whilst some nurse or midwife rummages about in your nether regions and announces “Not yet 10cm dilated dear, whatever you do don’t push” – and you want to punch her really really hard – and probably do if she makes the mistake of standing too close to either of your arms!

Has she ever had to live in a sleep deprived state of despair listening to ear splitting screams that you think will never end?

Has she ever had to walk about with the inevitable blow up rubber ring tucked under her arm everywhere she went on which she has to humiliatingly sit down on to get any respite from major discomfort from bits of your body that have been battered, bruised and most likely stitched up?

Has she?? Has she??
Nope, didn’t think so!

You go girl, just you wait and see how the parenting techniques pan out for you darling if you ever do have a baby, and all you want to do is curl up in the corner and quietly fade away, and meanwhile she’s finger wagging at you from the inner pages of her bestseller saying; “Don’t give in. Routine is king!”, and meanwhile back here in the real world, you’ll do absolutely anything for 10 minutes peace. And if that means sticking your baby on the boob every half an hour just to keep them from incessant ear-splitting screaming, then so be it!

I’m afraid good, solid, common sense goes straight out the window, because if it doesn’t, the likelihood is the baby will!