I think this is really quite a vital subject that relates to the woman's form and that I really felt worth covering today of all days as it is of course a truly international issue, and that is the subject of name badges.
Now did you know that according to independent research, companies whose employees wear name badges are perceived by the public as more friendly, helpful and professional - and employees themselves say their name badges help promote a sense of pride and improve customer care.
“Marvellous”, you say, but can I tell you that yesterday at lunch I observed something quite disturbing that I felt needs much more research with regards to employees and their name badges.
Have you noticed that waitresses tend to attach their name badges to their shirt on the left hand side pocket, and in absence of a pocket – then on the part of the shirt where one would expect to find the pocket perhaps. This is fine for those less well endowed ladies but for those with a little more going in the fun bag department, this does mean of course perching this name badge in an extremely prominent place basically slap bang in the middle of their left tit.
Now you may think that this is all very well and dandy, but there is one major problem here. What I observed is that in customers who are perhaps a little more elderly than the average, they seem not to be quick enough to catch the name on the badge in the usual polite cursory glance, and therefore tend to enquire of said waiting staff their title, and what happens next is really quite startling!
Instead of the waitress just answering “Betty”, “Faith”, or whatever else her name may be, it seems the done thing is to thrust said badge at the questioning person, which means of course thrusting one’s left breast straight into the sight line of probing old bloke!
Now this is all very well to give said old chap an eyeful but what on earth will it do to his heart, or for that matter his digestive system right before he’s about to order his lunch?
But here’s the thing – if these waitresses don’t wear their badge on their left boob, then where on earth else is there to wear it which could be deemed relatively ‘safe’?
I mean, right bosom has obviously the same drawback as the left and so that’s no good, middle of the shirt is even less secure as it would mean thrusting entire cleavage. Wearing the badge any lower down the shirt is blatantly uncouth as making eye contact with ladies you don’t know somewhere around waist level or below is certainly not well-mannered, and so therefore the only alternative I can see is by sticking the badge on their forehead, but I don’t quite see that doing the waitresses self-esteem much good and you might as well stick a dunce cap on their head.
So you see, research is most definitely lacking in this sector, and I really feel it’s my ethical duty to do something about this. I think I shall write a 100+ page proposal (they love a lot of paper these chaps), that I shall distribute about all the NGO’s in these parts in order for someone to give me some funding so that I can continue with this investigation.
I mean certainly this debate relates to public health and women's rights, (both of which I’ve found is a great thing if you’re looking for a spot of donor money), and it is most definitely a deserving cause wouldn’t you think.
Also, at the end of the day, they’d surely rather give me money than wasting it on giving it out to some clandestine government project so that all those politicians can waste it on their fancy houses, four wheel drives and bodyguards who haven’t yet learnt how to get out of a car properly.
