A change of profession perhaps ....

As I sit here at home basking in the glory of our 'New Kenya', the power in my house is flashing on and off, on and off at regular 3 second intervals.

Mmmm, so this is what we have to look forward to.

Oh, Goody!

I have had to switch all electrics off and most of the lights and the few that remain on... and off ... on .. and off ... on - you get the point - are driving me a little insane. It's like being at a 70's disco with an incredibly dull tune playing so the strobes are in 'bored' mode.

Actually after yesterday's little episode of your man in the states, the marvellous governor Eliot Spitzer, aka "Client 9", allegedly paying thousands of dollars to some "'petite brunette' only known as 'Kristen'", for 'services rendered' we assume, I'm thinking of changing the light bulb on my verandah to a red one to see if I too could perhaps get lucky and have some sad politician pay me tons of cash so that I can also become rich and famous and give up the day job! Seeing as the damn lights won't stop flashing, I might as well put them to good use wouldn't you say.

Latest news from cnn.com

The governor's gal

When the Emperors Club VIP said it was sending Kristen, a call girl described as a "petite, very pretty brunette," Client 9 was pleased. "Great, OK, wonderful," he said, according to an affidavit. Client 9, later revealed to be New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, was caught arranging the liaison on a federal wiretap. It was the beginning of the end for him.

Also you'll be jolly pleased to know that our 'Prime Minister Designate' was assigned 120 security guards today to watch over his every move 24 hours a day. They have apparently all undergone 'day and night two week intensive training', including 'crash courses on how to jump in to moving cars, where to position themselves in public places and how to walk with the VIP they would be protecting.'

""You will not see any member of the PM escort jumping out of a moving car like a tout. They will all be professional", added the senior police officer."

So you see, if I practise my moves for jumping in and out of moving vehicles without taking off into the car park at high speed, avoiding tripping over the curb and not diving head first back into the moving Merc - I should be in with a damn good chance of a position there perhaps - and especially as the lucky buggers were all given a whole 10,000 Kenya Shillings each (the equivalent of a measly US$150 ish) to kit themselves out in new suits, ties and collared shirts, I'm sure some second hand mitumba clothes sales market did some stonking trade this afternoon as with that kind of cash they surely wouldn't be shopping in 'real' shops with new clothes on sale!

So there's yet another opportunity for me - second hand clothes sales down the market.

Mr Kenyatta, the Minister for Local Government, I hear has been an absolute honey and put the daily rental down to 50/- a day for a stall at the smashing new multi-million shilling Muthurwa Hawker’s Market that no one has any intention of occupying it seems, (even though it is only 25/- at all other City Council run trader markets). Then of course you need to get past the 'Mungiki' (a gang of self styled thugs that are trying to run the show by their own rules and also need to be paid 'a small fee'), to get yourselves a slot, and of course actually find some customers as most of them are still hanging out in the Central Business District and won't go near the market for fear of their own personal security.

Well, Well, How lucky am I?

It seems the 'New Kenya' is our oyster.

- that is of course if I don't go completely deranged before morning with these flashing lights surrounding me doing my head in!

Christ Alive, Where's the 'Hedex Extra Strength' when you need it?

So Last Season !

Now i realise what a terrible mother i really am! - As if i didn't have a real inkling!!
Came home from work and - as usual - was complaining about our gardener. We have the garden the size of a postage stamp - probably enormous in European terms - but in Kenyan terms F.. ALL!! It's because we live in a small compound within a much larger one. Works great for security as there are 7 houses scattered throughout the place, but what it does mean is that we have a small fenced space which holds us in - mainly for my 2 enormous dogs - so they don't eat the countless Jack Russells that roam the main compound. Its generally not seen as politically correct to let my Rottweiler out to greet their angry toilet brushes - especially as they all belong to my landlord!
Anyway what this all means - is that my garden is far too small for one fellow to spend his entire day doing anything to at all and therefore i spend my entire time finding other tasks for my gardener. I've taught him how to iron - which can sometimes be a little dodgy - but hey I'm not one for designer clothes and such like and do most of my shopping in 'Mitumba' which is the local second hand clothes market here - so I'm not too proud of the odd burn mark and clothes ironed flat - that should of probably stayed with the 'ruffled' effect that some poor designer had spent hours getting perfect. And i do love the crease he gets in my socks!!
No seriously he's a great guy my gardener, it's just he is the laziest fellow on the planet. His entire day consists of washing the car, walking the dogs, and a spot of ironing. The only reason i keep him on - besides the fact that he's really quite a nice guy and deserves some kind of job - is that on the one day a week my house girl is off duty - the man is a godsend as he hangs out with my son when he doesn't want to follow me about to polo or some horse show or other - so for that he's great.
Funnily enough listing down here about his good points makes me realise that he's probably not so annoying after all. I mean this holiday - it's really been him who has got my son to finally ride his bike without its training wheels - as i have the patience of a flea and just end up getting annoyed when my son doesn't get it right immediately!
So there you go - perhaps i shouldn't be whinging at all about the man - but as usual i was the other day, and my son sits listening and then turns to me and says
"I know Mum, He's so last season!"
- Out of the mouths of babes! And it just proved the boy watches far too much TV!
My goodness - what would Granny say!! Luckily she usually warns me she's coming over so I can warn my son and get him to do something else (rather than watch TV) until granny's been and gone!! Otherwise you get that muttering under their breath of what a crap parent you are, that only Granny's have perfected (especially when they're your EX Mother -in-law!). Actually she's an absolute star and really helps out when she can (which is more than can be said of her son - the father of this small boy), so I can put up with the occasional muttering!