Serious Christmas Shopping !

Someone's definitely way up on me with his Christmas shopping, and damn fine idea in principle I thought .... Check this out .......


Thief makes off with 180 Guinness kegs

DUBLIN (Reuters) - A thief made off with 180 kegs of Guinness beer after smoothly driving into the Dublin brewery which makes the black stout and snatching a trailer load of drink, police said on Thursday.
The incident took place on Wednesday at the Guinness brewery on the banks of Dublin's River Liffey where Ireland's trademark tipple has been brewed for almost 250 years.
The lone raider's haul also contained 180 kegs of Budweiser and 90 barrels of Carlsberg lager, police said.



"A man drove into the yard in a truck and took a trailer containing the drink which has an estimated value of 64,000 euros (46.000 pounds)," a police spokesman said.
(Reporting by Jonathan Saul)
© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

Christmas shopping online

I’ve been looking through online shopping sites (– as you do of course when you’re at work and it is nearly December!! – I mean what else is that company paid for 24hour internet connection in aid of I ask you?)

Anyway, as I was saying, - I’ve been shopping and its absolutely fab – I’ve seen gorgeous things for me – lots of them and I want them all - although I really can’t afford them and sadly won’t be finding anyone else who could perhaps be persuaded to buy them for me – but no matter I’m actually supposed to be shopping for my son…….

No, better rephrase that – seeing as I’m at work

– I’m not of course supposed to be shopping for anyone –

but I was browsing interesting work related things and ……

“Oops look I happened to drop into the Amazon site”

– “Goodness me, now how did that happen??”

“Oh, well, now that I’m here – best make the most of it don’t you think?”

SO here I am doing a spot of Amazon shopping and I’m looking for a Playstation game that my son’s been going on about so I type in ‘BIONICLE PLAYSTATION’ into the ‘SEARCH’

…. And what pops up……………

Your search "bionicle playstation" did not match any products.
However, Amazon recommends….

Well how fab is that? – Some little robot that programmed the search engine must have a superb sense of humour.
Actually I was so impressed I decided that I really should own this book so I hit “BUY IT”, and of course then you get the ‘Perfect Partner’ recommendation which was even more impressive…

Well that’s it – I’m sold!!
Have added both to my ‘Wish List’ which of course I will then buy for myself!!

Oh damn – wasn’t I supposed to be small boy shopping?

The Monday Blues!

Wit, charm and anything else remotely resembling sanity seems to have totally escaped me today.

I’m just mad mad mad at the world – I think it must be the weather – its bloody raining again!

I can’t actually find anything really that I should be annoyed by but I so don’t want to be here at work, I so don’t want to be in this life – I want a new one – this one totally sucks!

Work is soooooooooooooooo boring today – I have absolutely no interest in anything.

Do you think it’s the weather, the depression or my age catching up with me?
Perhaps it’s a combination of the 3.

There’s a great blog I follow called ‘Running in Wellies’ and can you believe that poor woman has to deal with months of the year without even seeing the sun to speak of and yet here I am after 24 hours of rain whining like a baby!

My body is so not configured for cold and wet – it only does hot and dry.

Am thinking of emigrating – I wonder what the Gulf is like at this time of year – do they do rain there or just hot, dry and sandy? I think I could do with a bit of hot, dry and sandy.

If I was a celebrity – Do you think someone might come and get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!

Preparing for a brighter future!

If this is us preparing for a brighter future - what hope do we have really?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

My Dilemma

It seems that i am in a terrible dilemma at the moment. It may sound awfully bizarre to most women out there and perhaps totally normal for most men (I'm not really sure)- but i have this complete obsession about cars!

I have a perfectly good, functioning vehicle which actually i absolutely love and have no complaints about whatsoever. It fits my son and me in perfectly, (including the odd friend), and if you put the back seats down the two large hounds fit in quite nicely as well, but I just can't seem to shake this want I have for a new car!

It doesn't even have to be a 'new out of the showroom with that gorgeous smell' new, but just new to me. And all the ones on the road that I just obsess about when driving about town are enormous, diesel 4x4 machines.



I mean, what on earth do i need some enormous 8 seater fuel guzzling monster for? .. I can't really work it out but I just love them.

Now if I was my shrink (who of course I don't dare tell about my car obsession as I'll get labelled as over-compensating for something or other ......er..........Duh! - and I really don't need to hear that out loud!),
I would analyse this obsession thoroughly, so I thought I'd just do that for myself, so here goes ...............


Reasons for wanting an extremely large off road beast ...

1. The enormous amount of seats available mean that my son and I can pretend we have lots of friends in which to fill all those seats with and go places!

2. I can charge into the traffic at high speed and people will quake with fear in my wake!

3. I can fill the extremely large boot with extra hounds, or perhaps a small horse!

4. We can look like we do camping at weekends (although i feel i have a distinct allergy to canvas - at least we can look the part!)

5. When i get a puncture i can get some gorgeous hunk and his hi-lift jack to help me out
......... In fact that one sounds like such a good idea - I might just drive around town with a bunch of nails in my glove box in case of drop dead gorgeous man driving by!!


Truthfully, I think this obsession is a case of feeling bloody old and refusing point blank to accept that i may be officially 'middle aged'........... or perhaps it's just a distinct lack of sex ............

................... ER ......................... PROBABLY BOTH!

My Dating Days!!

Thought this little Andy Capp strip kind of summed up my dating days! ..........

....... it seems i've had far too many 'What-was-i-thinking-versary's' myself !!

Great news for curvy women!

Now can I just say I have come across the most fab news I’ve heard in a long time about how marvellous it is to be well endowed in the bottom department!

It turns out some people (who don’t have too much else to do in life it seems) have done some research that shows that women with large hips are more intelligent than those with apple shaped or linear bodies!!

They say it’s probably a result of higher levels of Omega 3 fatty acids, (but I reckon its more likely that we store our brain cells in our bottoms and therefore have far more space for brains!!)

Now I’m very sorry if you’re stunning and sylph like but best you get some more fish oils down your necks girlfriends as us large arsed girlies are damn clever can I tell you – we might not fit into a size 8 or anything resembling ‘gorgeous’, but hey, we’ve got brains and ………… wait for it ……… we also produce cleverer children!!!

And as for fashion – turns out you don’t need a skinny arse for that one either as another study (from the University of the Bloody Obvious of Business) has shown that women have abandoned their skimpy underwear for …………….. CONTROL PANTS! Yes, control pants are the highest seller across the board according to John Lewis and Marks & Spencers with a staggering number of 5 pairs per minute being sold in the UK in the past 6 months!

And although some boring spoilsport Professor who teaches medicine at Cranfield University said 'the restrictive garments could cause breathing problems, heartburn and stomach ulcers' – I’d say ‘Pants!’ to him and get down to M&S underwear department to stock up on some smashing 'Bridget Jones' big knickers!

Turns out there is a god after all – and I reckon she must be a woman – I mean who else would give us big bums to make us more intelligent, and decide control pants are the latest fashion accessory!?!?!?

All my dreams have finally come true!