Sunday, October 7, 2007

Yippee, Christmas is coming!

Apparently we really do live in the third world.

I’d never heard of Neiman Marcus – the outrageous present shopping site until I heard of them on a business segment of the CNN news the other day when they were talking of the new Christmas Catalogue that has been launched.

Well, I had no idea what fab things you could buy online (if only you have tons of cash and a little brain that would make you waste wads of cash, and if you are that person and are reading this – please give me a call and I could give you a million and one ideas on how better to give away your money. We have millions starving in this part of the world that for less than a dollar a day can be fed, clothed and housed. - Think about it!!) - but I digress ….. a lot!
Sorry, back to the point.

I was awfully excited to see that you can spend $75,000 on a robot that will talk to you (- it doesn’t tell you what it says though! Perhaps it gives worldly advice on where next to park your cash, or perhaps it gives out stocks and share advice – or perhaps it was programmed by a normal person and only says “Stop wasting your money, you flash git!!”)

Not only that, but at a snip, for $73,000 you can get yourself a diamond encrusted cell-phone (-that of course is highly likely to get nicked at any given moment in this, our smashing home town of Nai-robbery – whoops sorry – Nairobi, and then sold in some shady deal to some fellow downtown for about ten bucks – as it’s too bling to fetch more. And what they’d do when they pressed the button and got the 24 hour global concierge service could be an extremely amusing tale … I wonder if they have a ‘Jaluo’ service?)

And if you’ve got a cool $1.59Million to blow and 499 friends (which I sadly wouldn’t be able to rustle up – just call me ‘Norma’ – Norma No Mates!) – you can get yourself a private concert with Russia’s Kirov Orchestra and ‘for good measure’, the Steinway concert grand stays behind! - Gosh, they really are too kind!

It’s brilliant. I wonder if they have a service where you can list all the items you’d like gifted to you for Christmas, send a letter up to the North Pole, and Father Christmas could kindly drop down your chimney and leave them all nicely packaged under your Christmas tree in return for a glass of milk and a carrot for Rudolph?

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