Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Great news for curvy women!

Now can I just say I have come across the most fab news I’ve heard in a long time about how marvellous it is to be well endowed in the bottom department!

It turns out some people (who don’t have too much else to do in life it seems) have done some research that shows that women with large hips are more intelligent than those with apple shaped or linear bodies!!

They say it’s probably a result of higher levels of Omega 3 fatty acids, (but I reckon its more likely that we store our brain cells in our bottoms and therefore have far more space for brains!!)

Now I’m very sorry if you’re stunning and sylph like but best you get some more fish oils down your necks girlfriends as us large arsed girlies are damn clever can I tell you – we might not fit into a size 8 or anything resembling ‘gorgeous’, but hey, we’ve got brains and ………… wait for it ……… we also produce cleverer children!!!

And as for fashion – turns out you don’t need a skinny arse for that one either as another study (from the University of the Bloody Obvious of Business) has shown that women have abandoned their skimpy underwear for …………….. CONTROL PANTS! Yes, control pants are the highest seller across the board according to John Lewis and Marks & Spencers with a staggering number of 5 pairs per minute being sold in the UK in the past 6 months!

And although some boring spoilsport Professor who teaches medicine at Cranfield University said 'the restrictive garments could cause breathing problems, heartburn and stomach ulcers' – I’d say ‘Pants!’ to him and get down to M&S underwear department to stock up on some smashing 'Bridget Jones' big knickers!

Turns out there is a god after all – and I reckon she must be a woman – I mean who else would give us big bums to make us more intelligent, and decide control pants are the latest fashion accessory!?!?!?

All my dreams have finally come true!


belle said...

oh wow! Good news indeed :o) Only one wee problem ... my lardy arse is pretty much the same size as my lardy stomach and lardy shoulders ... definitely apple shaped ... but think Big Apple not neat coxes pippin ;o)


Not to worry Belle, we all know large fruits are always the pick of the bunch - so 'Pants' to them all I say ;o)