Monday, November 5, 2007

Nursery Rhyme Updates - very UN PC versions!

I was sent these through these great nursery rhymes this morning and just had to share!
Please note these are absolutely 'SO NOT' politically correct ......... but i think they're jolly fab anyhow!!

WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED!
IF YOU CLAIM TO BE ABSOLUTELY FAB AT PARENTHOOD, PLEASE DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT.

(I of course shall be off just now to pick my son up from school and rehearse him through these for class tomorrow!)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.


Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man 'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simple Simon
"Pies you dickhead."

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

4 comments:

mchawi said...

Habari gani? i was and lived in Kenya and tanzania, i love east africa and my second son born in Nairobi. where you are?
Diego
my blog is habari-za-safari

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Thanks for reading Diego,
Am also based in Nairobi, and absolutely agree - Kenya is wonderful place to call home.

Primal Sneeze said...

Jack & Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
I don't know what they did up there
But now they have a daughter

ps. Turn off that damed Word Verification! It's a headache.

Oh, and, hello, welcome to blogland ;)

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Thanks Primal for nursery rhyme to add to collection. Will teach that one to my son this evening!
You're probably right about word verification but if i switch it off and get a load of spam i will be getting back to you!!
PS. Thanks for welcome to blogland - its really quite a fun place i must say.