Monday, May 12, 2008

As you might gather, I am slightly bored of all this ..

Being sick in bed and all, one tends to become quite morbid it seems.

You go throught the inevitable “Oh my god, am I dying? Is this really it?” through “Should I be writing my will?” and onto “Lets look through the great book of death and see what illness I’ve really got that's going to kills me off, because this loooong named virus just doesn’t sound serious enough to do me in surely!!

So out comes the book of death (it’s known as the Medical Encyclopaedia to most), and I systematically go through the symptoms, as you do.

.. explosive head…

…drunk feeling without actually opening the gin bottle

.. explosive bottom (sorry – probably far too much information there)

And what do I have …..

Oooh – it’s a ‘Consult your doctor’ illness – God, how dull.

I know, I’ll go one better and Google “explosive head” on the internet …

- how about this for useful?

How To Tell If Your Head's About To Blow Up

Ah – well, it seems that if my skull was going to internally combust, it probably would have done so by now, so that’s not very helpful.

So, this is the most significant thing that I seem to be able to come up with entitled “explosive head”

Actually I ended up laughing so hard my head hurt more than it has all day – so probably not that useful but then I came across an awfully valuable site totally heaving with useless information and I thought I should share a couple of these titbits as they seem rather pertinent right now!

Did you know???? from

Your Stomach Secretes Corrosive Acid

There's one dangerous liquid no airport security can confiscate from you: It's in your gut. Your stomach cells secrete hydrochloric acid, a corrosive compound used to treat metals in the industrial world. It can pickle steel, but mucous lining the stomach wall keeps this poisonous liquid safely in the digestive system, breaking down lunch.

(which goes far in explaining that dangerous smell I’ve got hanging out in here – aren’t you all glad you didn’t drop by to visit!)

Body Position Affects Your Memory

Can't remember your anniversary, hubby? Try getting down on one knee. Memories are highly embodied in our senses. A scent or sound may evoke a distant episode from one's childhood. The connections can be obvious (a bicycle bell makes you remember your old paper route) or inscrutable. A recent study helps decipher some of this embodiment. An article in the January 2007 issue of Cognition reports that episodes from your past are remembered faster and better while in a body position similar to the pose struck during the event.

(I can confirm that this is true when one has been lying in bed for days – it seems you can’t remember a bloody thing you’ve done – or not – ah, perhaps that’s the point – you see, What memory?)

..and with all that, I seem to have forgotten the point of all this ....


belle said...

so what if you're head's already exploded sometime ago only you didn't notice?

Loved this post and hope you're better soonest x

nuttycow said...

Tell us, tell us, what's the funny long sounding virus

(PS I love Dr Death books. We have one too. I used to quiz my parents when I was little. Without fail they always had a "WARNING: VISIT YOUR DOCTOR NOW!" disease. Very satisfying!)

Gorilla Bananas said...

Your handling it well, Miss Chick. Victory and a quiet bottom will soon be yours.

Sukuma Kenya said...

Well, when you boss fires you for skiving work, you can certainly feel confident about being a pro blogger!
If Calvin and Hobbes were able to read, they would be reading you!


Belle - good point! No wonder it hurts so much :)

Nutty Cow - I'm afraid I can't possibly tell you that or I'd have to kill you ..... and that would be so dull! Glad to hear you consult Dr Death book too ...

Mr Bananas - I'm looking forward to victory AND a quiet bottom I must say!

DP - Well thanks there for that. *blush* At least I know all is safe when I'm jobless next week!
Fancy a coffee when I'm free!!??

Sukuma Kenya said...

Always time for coffee when you come down from your hills...

aims said...

This feels like its been going on for a long time now MC. Perhaps a trip to the witchdoctor is in order.

Dad Mzungu said...

I am getting worried abou the health of MC. No post since Monday? THis is virtually unheard of.
I am going cold-turkey without the wit and barbed humour.