Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Seems I have a sickness of sorts ...

I am writing this post from the comfort of my bed can you believe, squinting through one eye and typing with a few fingers – that are making a lot of mistakes I might add!

It seems I’ve come over ‘all blokey’, and just can’t cope.

You know the sort of ‘all blokey’ sickness – where you’ve got to moan and groan a lot like a man with a sore toe and make sure you drag the sympathy out of those all around you, and get waited on hand and foot. Not the woman kind of sickness where, no matter what, you just keep on going.

Perhaps I've got a hormone imbalance, or perhaps it's a kind of transvestite thing that's creeping up on me. I'd better start emailing yer man Ronaldo for a spot of advice!

...... and by the way, don't all you chaps out there reading this get all defensive and shoot straight down to the comment box trying to justify yourselves (or Ronaldo for that matter).

Us women have heard it all before :)

I don’t understand it. I hardly ever get sick, yet since Monday evening I have had a splitting headache with frequent head spin and it just does not seem to want to go away.

Went to bed Monday night feeling like I was completely drunk, yet the fact that I haven’t had a drink for years didn’t quite make up for it. Woke up Tuesday morning feeling like I had been run over by a large double decker bus during the night, but being a girl – and NOT a bloke, I crawled out of my bed at 5.30am, had some breakfast, argued with my son, took him to school, and then ….

Faded rapidly and headed straight back to bed where I stayed for the rest of the day.

This morning I definitely didn’t feel normal, but hey what’s normal these days, and I most definitely felt a lot better than yesterday. So, crawled out of bed yet again, dropped my son at school, sorted out some stuff that had gotten messed up yesterday whilst I was sleeping, and then headed for the office, and there I sat – being a little slow I may add – but I caught up on my emails and signed the usual 3 Million bits of little paper that accumulate when you take the day off, and then ….. my head decided that no matter how many pain killers I got down my neck – it was going to pop anyway.

So decided best I leave the office quick before I leave a mess up the walls with explosive grey matter and the like, and shoot off down to the Surgery to see if they could conjure me up some miracle cure or just perhaps sellotape my head back together if things got out of hand, but oh no, …..

“Oooh, I’m so sorry madam that your head may explode in the next 30 minutes however I’m afraid that the doctors are all fully booked for the next three weeks. But perhaps if you’re really, really dying, I could squeeze you in with someone at 12.30 tomorrow.”

But hold on, I may be dead by tomorrow – and then what you going to do??

Huh Huh Huh ???

I had no idea that scheduling yourself being sick was an ‘in advance’ thing to be done and one mustn’t descend on the doctor once you're already ill and get yourself an appointment without giving notice waaaaay ahead.

I think I missed a memo somewhere – thought you got sick first, then planned to see the doc. Didn’t realise you were supposed to do it the other way round.

You see – I should have asked a bloke!! He He !!


Dad Mzungu said...

Don't let your head explode. Please! I don't see how we, your avid readers can cope with you not posting a regular blog.
And don't mind the fingers making mistakes, most of us suffer this inconvenience when we are perfectly well (this is an assumption - I am a bloke and have never been perfectly well).
I have to say that I admire the Kenyan hospital system, though.
I took one of my little charges (a Luuya, so very dark) to the hospital in Kisii and joined the 50 other patients waiting to see the doctor.
"Ah no, Bwana," said a nurse. "You come this way." And I was ushered past a lot of jealous faces to a quiet little child-care department with no queue. Beats me, I didn't ask for special treatment - but was very grateful, as was my little boy, until he saw the needle they stuck in him. I didn't know a very small, undernourished 4 year-old could make so much noise!
A Coke and a cake shut him up, though.
Get better soon.
Dad Mzungu

Gorilla Bananas said...

You're a hardy trooper, Miss Chick, but please make sure you've not picked up a nasty African bug. I send you my hairy energy, which is more powerful than the strongest healing potion.

nuttycow said...

Hope you're feeling better soon MC. Also hope you're being pampered. Men always demand it when they're "dying", women should too.

seinlife said...

"mess up the walls with explosive grey matter.." - ewh yuck yuck yuck!!
whatever it is, it has been making the rounds.....
hope you feel better and judging by the " He He !!"(you making yourself laugh) at end of the article guessing u will be just fine...

seinlife said...

i just read the rest of the comments and i just can't resist!
@dad mzungu - stop bragging - u r not the first 'whitey' with a man servant to skip the line!

@gorilla bananas - com'on why does it have to be nasty + african? nasty would have done it just fine! now am gonna have to pay for more therapy sessions....grrr

Anonymous said...

Get well soon,

Expatmum said...

Last time I felt like this was about five and a half years ago. The little's one's now almost 5!
Also check out The Man Cold on You Tube. Hilarious.

kenyandaughter said...

Sounds to me like u have malaria,but no need to panic since u in africa we are very well equiped to deal with it since its almost erm how do I say it,one of those diseases that we deal with in our lifetime.
nothing that metakelfin wont get rid off(I wonder if they still use this)

Dad Mzungu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dad Mzungu said...

That's funny. Man servant? I thought I was the man servant to the kid.
And us "whities" are a bit scarce in Kisii, too. In fact I felt like I was in a zoo - all the kids touching me and then giggling.
Still, if I can't stand the heat, I shouldnt go into the kitchen, I suppose.
And, it turned out right fo the kid too. He proved to be HIV-.
I just can't wait to get back - beats the UK, hands down, even if I am a curiosity ;)

Anonymous said...

i knew something was not will be have done alot of good the last 3 months.take a break.slow down and relax.

Billy said...

Get better soon - from a man that is also a little under the weather but is forced to be at work...

Love your writing style - funny!


Well you'll all be jolly pleased to know that as of now - I am in the office .... Shshshhh, keep it down now! ... and head has not yet exploded, so it looks like I may make my 12.30 at the docs after all.

Must say head is starting to show cracks and still very keen to spill its guts (but luckily it seems there's not too much inside to escape so it is keeping itself under control!)

So until 12.30, I shall sit at my desk and pretend to do some work (meanwhile catching up with fellow bloggers out there), until I can legally skive and head for the docs.

Ciao for now .. and Billy, glad to hear you're at work too and have succumbed to the 'blokey' thing!



Sorry Billy - reread that as "NOT YET succumbed to the 'blokey' thing" - Sorry hon, head not quite all there yet - running on a very low network!!

aims said...

It's because you used the public bathroom and didn't have any toilet paper...arrrgggghhhhh!

Sukuma Kenya said...

Maybe you were really in the men's loo...
Pole Sana anti...

BritGal' Sarah said...

First of all sympathy for your ailments. Secondly MEN - why are they such babies when they're sick and if you offer to help they get even whinier I find!

Thirdly - it seems Dr's are the same the world over, in the the UK & USA you have to wait to be sick also it seems. Surely common sense would make them keep maybe 2 spots a day free for emergencies. oh but DUH - then they might not get one and lose out on some much needed money! Pathetic