Thursday, May 29, 2008

Gentlemen, PLEASE get a grip ....

The world around us maybe falling apart. Natural disasters are claiming lives all over the show, and if its not natural it'll be some fellow in a flack jacket with a nasty looking weapon taking people out. In fact, all in all, this world is becoming an incredibly depressing place, and to tell you the honest truth - I have often wondered why I bother getting up in a morning, but stupidly I do, every morning, with my 'glass half full' attitude, wince at all the news stories, pray for a better tomorrow, and then this comes through on the BreakingNews.ie site .....

"YOUNG MEN PREFER IRONING TO CAR MAINTENANCE"


I mean Versace may have had it right here - but that's not the real world ....


Read this if you dare .....

Young men are more comfortable ironing their laundry than getting under a car bonnet, according to new research published today.

A study into the changing lifestyles of young males found that while over 62% of men aged 18 to 29 were comfortable at the ironing board, just one in 10 was able to maintain a car.

Three quarters of young men surveyed said they regularly donned an apron in the kitchen, and 85% were comfortable crying in front of other people.

James Brown, founding editor of men’s magazine Loaded, said the survey showed that men had fallen prey to "gender surrender".


He said: “A bloke’s masculinity used to come effortlessly and his place in the world was clear cut. Nowadays, women are confident and men are confused.

“As men have been reacting to being told how they should behave rather than how they really are, they’ve crossed the line from just changing with the times to committing outright gender surrender.”


No, No, No, No, No ... this cannot be, all the people in the neighbourhood hear me cry. What if I have a bit of a crisis - you know those ones, light bulb needs changing, fuse has blown, tap's dripping, car doesn't start ..... Surely, I need to 'get a man in'!

Of course the truth is that although we ladies do go for the 'get a man in' every time.. Turns out that usually you'll end up doing it yourself as you don't have the patience to wait for him to change his shirt (to the one for doing the odd jobs about the house that of course he can't seem to find), get himself a cold beer from the fridge (he's got to keep refreshed you know), search high and low for the inevitably needed 'tool box', (although of course the screwdrivers are kept in the kitchen drawer and the tool box is basically obsolete and full of unusable junk), call his mates on the phone to let them know he'll be late for the footie match as 'he's doing some few jobs about the house for her indoors" (so he can get a bit of sympathy when he does get down the pub all 15 seconds later than he had originally scheduled), etc.

... but actually that is NOT the point.

Surely ladies, we want our men to be men (and although a spot of washing up and even the odd ironed shirt wouldn't be a bad idea - although I'm not sure I can say I'm entirely comfortable with the thought of a bloke with a hot box in one hand and a slither of silk with creases in it in the other - unless of course he is 'Versace babe'!), I'd really rather men could at least pretend to be able to start the car (whacking with a hammer at least shows willing don't you think?), and taking things apart with a screwdriver again shows a bit of enthusiasm for fixing stuff (even though you'll more than likely have to take it down to the shops on Monday and find yourself a 'proper' repair shop)
- I really believe it's the thought that counts .....

Don't surrender chaps. Wipe away those tears, put the iron down, leave the dirty washing where you took it off (including the apron), stay well away from the kitchen, and get a blasting from the Missus for being a slob.

Otherwise it won't matter any more how crap the world is around us, and whether we should even think about getting out of bed in the morning, because without doubt men will become obsolete and women will have no-one to bitch about at their coffee mornings, or over the email, or over the 3 times per day phone calls that are essential to our lives, and life just won't be worth living.

Perhaps this is the the day of judgement after all - but not as predicted I feel although looking at the daily natural disasters it may seem the end is nigh- but filling the world with men in aprons will definitely mean women giving up the will to live .....


Footnote for my more discerning politically correct readers - I'm so sorry to have perhaps offended the more sensitive ones of you that believe it should be 'equal rights for all' and gender doesn't count, but, being a woman, I have to disagree with this - at my own discretion of course. (If I wish to be paid loads of cash (equal to a man in the same position), I shall of course complain bitterly and say that I should be treated equally, but god save the poor bloke who dares to charge through the door ahead of me and not bother to hold it open for anyone who may be behind ....)

7 comments:

Dad Mzungu said...

Hi MC

Two points. First, any self-respecting ex-forces chap in the UK wouldn't let his wife/partner near his clothes with an iron. I certainly didn't, and my wife didn't complain - well not about not ironing my clothes, anyway!

Second, if you want to get a plumber. etc. in the UK, you will have to speak Polish or other E European language.

Bought a business in Kisii this week - now praying that it earns a few bob!

DM

Gorilla Bananas said...

Maybe I should start a jungle training school for men so they can discover their inner silverback. I think you need a fellow who will give you piggyback rides, Miss Chick.

Expatmum said...

I'm not sure I'd lose the will to live if you sent round Versace babe. In fact, quite the opposite!

Primal Sneeze said...

Reminds me of this.

MZUNGU CHICK said...

DM - For goodness sake - surely if you've been in the forces, you should know better than that! It's like being in boarding school - and whatever you learnt there you need to be sure to do the opposite in real like.

Wouldn't mind a bit of a Polish plumber round mine tho - I don't see how that'll be an issue - not being able to speak to them and all. In fact I rather like that idea - much more useful, at least you won't feel so bad when then fleece you - it'll all be in foreign!

Mr Bananas - fine idea Sir. A little inner silverback could do the men of this world some definite wonders:)

Expatmum - Thing is - first of all of course Versace Babe is most definitely welcome round anytime - but that is because he is most definitely WITHOUT apron - which of course is highly approved of - if you look like that. Knowing my luck though, it would be rather silk boxer shorts he was after!

Primal - Sooo right. You see if men become nice and considerate - what use would that be. What on earth would women have to talk to each other about? It just blows everything out of kilter!

aims said...

Oh MC! I did read the whole post - but I have to say I was really really distracted by the pic.

Sigh.

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Aims - I totally understand. He can most certainly do my ironing, silks and all, in that kind of outfit!