Our "Grand Coalition" government is at 'stalemate' ..

Well after all the ‘how to lose some kilos’ advice I was offered, I thought I’d better get to it. Then in this last couple of days on the British news, there is a story that has really caught my eye.

There’s been lots of talk of this website called Miss Bimbo, which is aimed at 9 to 16 year old girls, in which they are told to buy their virtual characters breast enlargement surgery and to keep them “waif thin” with diet pills, and it really made me think ….

It’s not 9 to 16 year olds that should be worried about the kind of rubbish it promotes, such as who’s got the trendiest hair do, clothes and skinniest body (with or without plastic surgery), but it should be shut down and immediately relaunched as a 25+ years old only site and it’ll be an instant hit !

I mean you only need read the front page of the site;

Become the hottest, coolest most famous bimbo ever!
Become the most famous, beautiful, sought after bimbo across the globe!
• Find your own cool place to live.
• Find a fun job to pay for your needs and all the clothes a Bimbo could possibly want.
• Date that famous hottie you've had your eye on and show the Bimbo world the social starlet you are!
• Even resort to meds or plastic surgery. Stop at nothing to become the reigning bimbo!

I’ll join up, get myself some diet pills, plastic surgery and some designer clothes and I’ll be all set to reface you bloggers out there as I resurface as Miss Bimbo Chick 2008, and I know you’ll all be dead impressed !



...... Then I took a look at our own headlines this morning;


"Parties want Annan to resolve stalemate"
“PNU and ODM blame each other after deadlock over how to share key posts”, and
“MP’s take a 3 week break” from Parliament - the "big house with no business to transact”,

and it got me thinking ……..

We could start an internet game here just for all our Kenyan Members of Parliament to give them something useful to do whilst they take yet another break, and it could perhaps stop their bickering and renewed threats of mass action. They could earn ‘power points’ instead of ‘bimbo attitude points’. They could even earn themselves cash, but only by completing different challenges online, and then they could be granted different ministries as per their outcomes of the various challenges.

Normal everyday people such as ourselves would think up the challenges and WE would decide WHO deserves each ministry – whether from the PNU or the ODM camp, it would be OUR choice!

You could have the solving of security problems challenge where you could resettle all the IDP’s safely back into their own homes without any further tribalism around to drive them out again, and if you won the challenge you could be awarded the MINISTRY OF INTERNAL SECURITY.

If you rebuilt streets that were totalled during the troubles such as those in Kisumu, you could perhaps garner yourself the MINISTRY OF HOUSING & DEVELOPMENT, and if you could persuade all foreign embassies to remove their travel warnings and accept you as an ‘honest type’, you could perhaps win yourself the MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS……
(Then again, it may be tricky for any one of our 200+ MP’s to win that challenge, I’m not sure ‘honesty’ is quite up their street.)

The MINISTRY OF EDUCATION will only be got by putting in some decent plans for free education that don’t relate to the nonsense of “building funds”, but actually genuinely give free schooling. Then the MINISTRY OF LOCAL GOVERNMENT would be given to someone who can actually prove that a plan of keeping the matatu’s out of the city centre and giving the contract of shuttle services to a few ‘friendly’ companies (and NOT ‘at a price’) will actually help the traffic congestion and will not just be a way to make an extra buck on the side and meanwhile heaping yet more costs onto the common wanainchi.

They could earn themselves Mercedes, security details, take away girlfriends and even extra salaries but instead of all this coming out of our hard earned taxes, it could be all virtual cash and controlled by virtual bankers (– such as me of course who will take up the MINISTRY OF FINANCE), who shall allow only necessary provisions for drawings of real cash by paying ALL MP’s bills direct.

Although all ‘virtual’ and ‘online’, these MP’s would be earning themselves a ton, have Mercs stashed at each of their various residences, and a ‘sweetie’ housed in the Penthouse suite at the Nairobi Safari Club.

All this will do their street credibility wonders, the real cash would still lie in the Central Bank coffers and would not actually be spent on these Members of Parliament and their fictitious expenses, but could be finally used properly on real projects that would have been thought up originally as challenges on line with proper input coming from real Kenyans living real lives and not those living in their posh mansions surrounded by cotton wool and not having a real clue as to what the rest of Kenya is actually going through.

I reckon this game has the potential to most definitely sort the men from the boys (or the women from the girls for that matter), and get our country finally back on the right track!

And if, by the way there was a problem with the adjudication of the whole event, (we’d be sure not to have the ECK involved in any online tallying!), there wouldn’t be calls of mass action but instead online internet hours would be limited to the side seen as not behaving themselves! That way, our MPs would need to complete their challenges more competently in less time, therefore actually making use of their brains for once perhaps for something more useful than finding out which clothes to pack for their next ‘retreat’.

Excellent plan don’t you think?

I think we should go ahead with it immediately.

We’ll call it whowantstobeaminister.co.ke

Right, first things first;
“Hands up, Who wants to be President??”

Raila's new security detail ....

This was an article in one of our newspapers this morning, which detailed Raila's new found status as "Might be PM if it goes through Parliament Thursday", and his upgraded security detail, and apart from making me think;
"Oh Goody, yet another way for you people to waste my hard earned cash",
it reminded me of the most spectacular performance that I saw last night on the news.



"Raila gets taste of power"

".. the feel of power is already there, with the hawk-eyed security officers drawn from the Recce Unit of the General Service Unit, ".." who dangled from their chase cars in the typical antics they perform when the President arrives for functions."

Well can I tell you, "dangled" was the operative word.

Obviously being new to the power of having '25' Mercedes and '90' highly armed personnel in posh suits following him about, Raila didn't quite carry the whole arrival thing off as slickly as he perhaps should have.

On the news, they showed a video of the arrival of both Kibaki and Raila at Harambee House for their meeting yesterday with the 'full security detail'.

It starts off with Kibaki's motorcade.

First Merc slows down and as it comes to a stop two chaps hop out of the back and then rush back down the line of Mercs and open the door for Kibaki.

Then Raila's turn.

The motorcade appears, navy blue Merc in front as Kibaki's but before the driver has a chance to slow down the back doors fly open and two fellows jump out of the back before the car comes to a standstill. One ends up running off into the car park as he can't stop and the other one nearly falls on his face on the pavement.

I laughed so hard!

I think they forgot to tell the new security detail that those jokers who hang out of the car doors when they are arriving somewhere, do actually wait for it to almost come to a standstill before they hit the ground running !!

Then when Raila was leaving we got a similar cartoon ......

You see that fellow on the left of this picture. Well he misjudged his timing in the whole performance a little.

As the two goons on either side of the Merc jumped into the back seats, the whole motorcade sped up, and the fellow on the left nearly got left behind and had to dive head first into the front seat. It was priceless.

I think they must have missed their lessons in how to get into and out of a moving car without looking completely foolish !!

- Never mind, perhaps if they're lucky and ask nicely, Najib Balala (from the 'Pentagon' team who rode to the venue with Raila), will give them a few tips as I must say I did notice how well he hopped out of the back of the Lexus !!

............ Probably because he waited for it to STOP - You never know!

Errrr ...... "WHOOPS!"

REUTERS REPORTS .........



Canada's PM says Dalai Lama "is not a call girl"
(Well I'm glad we've cleared that up then .....)

OTTAWA (Reuters) - When Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper tried to explain in a year-end interview why he'd met the Dalai Lama in his Ottawa office, it was clear he wanted to show respect for the exiled Tibetan leader.

Unfortunately, it didn't quite come out that way.

"I met the Dalai Lama in my office but I meet everyone in my office. I don't know why I would sneak off to a hotel room just to meet the Dalai Lama. You know, he's not a call girl," Harper told OMNI television.

He quickly added: "As I say, he's a respected international spiritual leader."

China condemns the Dalai Lama as a separatist and presses world leaders to shun him. German Chancellor Angela Merkel met him in September, but only in private, and last month the Vatican called off a meeting with the Pope set for December 13.

Harper is a strong critic of China's human rights record and what he calls the "undemocratic regime" in Beijing.

China condemned Harper for "disgusting conduct" in late October after he met the Dalai Lama in his parliamentary office with television cameras and photographers present.

The Dalai Lama -- who fled his predominantly Buddhist homeland in 1959 after a failed uprising against Communist rule -- was granted honorary Canadian citizenship in June.

Harper's chief spokeswoman did not respond to a query as to whether the prime minister regretted his choice of words in the interview, which took place on Tuesday but was embargoed until Thursday.