Monday, August 20, 2007

Mothers -or should that be 'Dictators'?

I find - as a single mother of a 7 year old - I spend my life saying the same thing again and again and again and ...
I think it must be the world over, something that is sub consciously learned throughout all those long boring months of pregnancy - perhaps it's because you feel so dreadful most of the time the anger builds up in side of you and by the time your little bundle of joy is born - you're just damn well annoyed really!
- In fact I think I should write a book on it.
Not the usual pregnancy books of this is what your baby should/should not be doing at 2 weeks/4 weeks/6 weeks, etc. during pregnancy and once the little blighter's born. Every book telling you something completely different. In one book your child is a genius at 4 weeks old (in or out of the womb!) - in another he's most definitely backward and you should be seeking immediate help!
In my pregnancy book I would throw out all the 'what your child should be doing' at whatever age and get all parents to just continuously practice the phrases:
'Don't touch that!'
'Stop doing that!'
'Turn that down!'
'Quick, get a cloth!',
and of course the absolutely essential (to be repeated regularly at minimum 5 minute intervals, and the absolutely critical answer to every question asked by the little darlings!)
... 'NOOOOOO!'

Now if we all practised these phrases through the entire 9 months of pregnancy we will be well equipped for when the little blighters are born, and worst of all -start walking - as I find once they're off that's it, all mothers transform into serial dictators.
I'm not sure it's a conscious choice - but in our house it definitely seems a necessary one - unless of course one is content in living in something resembling a bomb site!
For my poor son, there is little choice for self-expression - in fact it is only to be encouraged when he is not in his own home and my company! Teachers, friends of his parents, granny's - all very useful parties to my child’s self-expression and to be fully encouraged as if he wishes to trash someone else's place - that's just the little darling being expressive!
BUT at home 'Dictator Mum' just shouts orders and SHE WILL BE OBEYED!

Think I should rename my blog - The Site for the “Alternative Mothering Techniques!!” – Am sure it’ll be a hit but I’ll probably be done by the SPCA (Society of the Protection of Cruelty to Animals – Whoops! – should that be children?!? – It’s so hard to tell!)

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