Words they don't tell you in Swahili class!

I have quite a few expat friends who have decided to take Swahili lessons - basically it seems - in order to understand their house staff and try and get them to do things remotely resembling what they've asked for - BUT you have to realise that even though Swahili maybe the first language in Kenya, along with English -which is spoken in most businesses and throughout Nairobi - some of our upcountry folk have not been to school and therefore Swahili is not actually in their vocabulary either - so you might as well try Japanese!!

However i do think it's a great effort on their part to partake in these Swahili lessons - although they tell me that they generally end up in conversations with their teacher about football or his wife - who doesn't seem overly fond of! (Not sure if these kind of conversations are in Swahili or English, but in the detail they relate to me about the Swahili teacher, i would say its in English mainly - or he's a damn good teacher!)

The usual suspects that are taught to every tourist are generally things like; Jambo - hello, Habariyako - how are you? Kwaheri - goodbye, Asante Sana - thank you very much, Kifaru - rhino, Simba - Lion, Twiga - Giraffe, Kiboko - Hippo, etc, etc..

I grew up here, so Swahili was part of our syllabus along with English and we even got to do a GCSE (or 'O'Level in my day!) in the subject, but here's a few lines we weren't taught that i thought may be useful to someone out there somewhere!

'Askari ya matiti'
GENERAL TRANSLATION: Bra
LITERAL TRANSLATION: Soldier/Guard to look after your boobs.

'Kifuli ya chakula cha wazee'
GENERAL TRANSLATION: Knickers
LITERAL TRANSLATION: Padlock to the old man's food.

'Soksi ya rungu'
GENERAL TRANSLATION: Condom
LITERAL TRANSLATION: Socks for your truncheon