Saturday, September 15, 2007

The 'Makaren'!

Here in Kenya there is an incredible number of tribes. I read somewhere it numbers 52 with the Kikuyu's (or Kyuks as more commonly known round these parts) are 21% of the population with the Luo's (or Jaluas) coming in at 14%. The other 65% is shared amongst the other 50 tribes in various proportions with some having much greater percentages than others.

We all profess not to be tribal in any way and yet that's what its all about. I'd say though it is definitely quite a jovial thing - the tribal class - especially these days amongst the educated - Just this morning i got a classic from one of my colleagues.

"Hey, i had to eat chicken and chips for breakfast this morning as a neighbour had brought it round for me last night and i had already eaten. But if i leave it in the fridge - well, i know my houseboy - he's a luyha - and he'll certainly deal with it and it won't be there in the evening for sure!!'
Had a great joke through about a jaluo (Luo) and his shiny designer 'sous' (or shoes to anyone else), and then of course you have the Kaos (or the Kamba's) and their love of anything colourful.

For me, the mzungu chick, Kenyan ID in hand, yet of no fixed 'shags', tribe is a tricky issue.
(By the way - 'shags' is the village where your family hail from).

However i was labelled the other day, and told my tribe must be the 'Makaren' - a bunch of Mzungus (pale faces) all at least 3rd generation Kenyans and all living in the district of Karen in the outskirts of Nairobi.

Am thinking of setting up a political party of such 'Makaren's'. It could be known as the 'lete chai tafadhali' party and all the old bats from the Mau mau era could jump up and down and smack those round the head who don't vote for them, with their walking sticks (as they generally do anyhow when things don't quite go their way!!)

Seriously though, I'm thinking of defecting already - rather would join the hoo ndi emm party (Orange Democratic Movement ODM). Although i'm not sure they'll get any more done than little old ladies making lots of noise and waving their walking sticks.
Well, you know Raila is really a 'Makaren' anyhow being neighbours in the estate and all, the only difference between us, is that his 'shags' are a little further north!!

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