Tuesday, July 24, 2007

'Suicide Hour' in the tropics!

Yesterday morning i woke up angry - angry because i was fat, felt like crap and just .... er ... angry really! Actually i don't really know why but of course my son got it in the neck for the most minor incident, the dogs got it because i tripped over them and then their baskets and everyone in the office got it because ... er well ... they were in the office!
It was awful - i spent until lunchtime fuming - then decided i better leave the office and stop upsetting anyone any further so i went round the shops - bought my son some new shoes - through sheer guilt of course for my morning's outburst - then went to the book shop and bought an exercise for fatties book and the most perfect diet book called "The Hibernation Diet"! It professes to make you thin whilst you sleep, and the forward reads:
"If you wake up tomorrow morning and dreamt you'd got thinner during the night, you'd think 'Oh Yeah, great. If only!' BUT that's just what you could be doing with the Hibernation Diet!" -
Now how could i possibly resist buying that?!?
I also bought The Times for last Saturday which also cheered me up immensely as there was a special holiday puzzle section with 8 full pages of sudoku and the like - superb!!
Final highlight of the day was a little tidbit i picked up in the Times with the following warning found on a packet of earplugs - "These earplugs are non-toxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in the windpipe!" - Now you don't say!!!!!
Anyway after such a generally rubbish start to the day, now approaching evening and thinking of settling down with the papers and my marvelous diet books, it made me think of a good friend and her kids and what we named 'Suicide Hour'!
Any mother should be able to relate to this time of day, every single day everywhere in the world, as early evening sets in, and kids get tired and whingy and no matter what you do or say general chaos usually breaks out in the house (that tends to include some incredibly loud screaming).
With one child it is generally controllable as if you can get food down their neck quick enough it tends to avert the extreme whinging BUT, after food, tends to turn the little blighters into bouncing beans until you can slot them into the bath and their beds!
With two plus children, it's a little tricky, as one will start the whinging - generally smack one of the others round the head - and the chorus begins! This one is not quite as easy to control as food can just cause further chaos as they'll start stealing from each others plates which only causes further screaming on board! - This is the classic 'Suicide Hour' when the best thing to do is get yourself some earplugs (trying of course your best not to get them stuck in your windpipe!!), open a bottle of wine, shout for the ayah (nanny/maid) and settle in with the paper! - That is what living in the tropics is all about - someone else to deal with the mundane daily nightmare - and I'd just like to say that if anyone out there who has a large family of kids - do the right thing and move out to a country where staff are part of our lives and are an absolute god send. If not - you'll be the one 'Suicide Hour' was named for and will be launching yourself off the fridge freezer come 6 o'clock this evening!!

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