Thursday, March 13, 2008

A change of profession perhaps ....

As I sit here at home basking in the glory of our 'New Kenya', the power in my house is flashing on and off, on and off at regular 3 second intervals.

Mmmm, so this is what we have to look forward to.

Oh, Goody!

I have had to switch all electrics off and most of the lights and the few that remain on... and off ... on .. and off ... on - you get the point - are driving me a little insane. It's like being at a 70's disco with an incredibly dull tune playing so the strobes are in 'bored' mode.

Actually after yesterday's little episode of your man in the states, the marvellous governor Eliot Spitzer, aka "Client 9", allegedly paying thousands of dollars to some "'petite brunette' only known as 'Kristen'", for 'services rendered' we assume, I'm thinking of changing the light bulb on my verandah to a red one to see if I too could perhaps get lucky and have some sad politician pay me tons of cash so that I can also become rich and famous and give up the day job! Seeing as the damn lights won't stop flashing, I might as well put them to good use wouldn't you say.

Latest news from

When the Emperors Club VIP said it was sending Kristen, a call girl described as a "petite, very pretty brunette," Client 9 was pleased. "Great, OK, wonderful," he said, according to an affidavit. Client 9, later revealed to be New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, was caught arranging the liaison on a federal wiretap. It was the beginning of the end for him.

Also you'll be jolly pleased to know that our 'Prime Minister Designate' was assigned 120 security guards today to watch over his every move 24 hours a day. They have apparently all undergone 'day and night two week intensive training', including 'crash courses on how to jump in to moving cars, where to position themselves in public places and how to walk with the VIP they would be protecting.'

""You will not see any member of the PM escort jumping out of a moving car like a tout. They will all be professional", added the senior police officer."

So you see, if I practise my moves for jumping in and out of moving vehicles without taking off into the car park at high speed, avoiding tripping over the curb and not diving head first back into the moving Merc - I should be in with a damn good chance of a position there perhaps - and especially as the lucky buggers were all given a whole 10,000 Kenya Shillings each (the equivalent of a measly US$150 ish) to kit themselves out in new suits, ties and collared shirts, I'm sure some second hand mitumba clothes sales market did some stonking trade this afternoon as with that kind of cash they surely wouldn't be shopping in 'real' shops with new clothes on sale!
So there's yet another opportunity for me - second hand clothes sales down the market.

Mr Kenyatta, the Minister for Local Government, I hear has been an absolute honey and put the daily rental down to 50/- a day for a stall at the smashing new multi-million shilling Muthurwa Hawker’s Market that no one has any intention of occupying it seems, (even though it is only 25/- at all other City Council run trader markets). Then of course you need to get past the 'Mungiki' (a gang of self styled thugs that are trying to run the show by their own rules and also need to be paid 'a small fee'), to get yourselves a slot, and of course actually find some customers as most of them are still hanging out in the Central Business District and won't go near the market for fear of their own personal security.

Well, Well, How lucky am I?
It seems the 'New Kenya' is our oyster.
- that is of course if I don't go completely deranged before morning with these flashing lights surrounding me doing my head in!

Christ Alive, Where's the 'Hedex Extra Strength' when you need it?


Gorilla Bananas said...

Time to turn off the lights and dream of your own generator, Miss Chick.


Mr Bananas - was so with you there. Went to bed early and dreamt of lights and rainbows and other bright things and woke up this morning with a stinking cold !! That would explain my grumpiness yesterday :-)

nuttycow said...

It's that moment when your heart dips and you think the power is on for good... only for it to go off again.


Hakuna stima!

aims said...

Okay - I give - how much would a 'nice' suit of clothes cost in your country?


Nutty Cow - the thing is you'd rather the power was ON or OFF and then you can deal with it either way!

Aims - good point! Well if you go to a smart tailor you're probably looking at a minimum of around $250 for anything half decent I reckon with smart shirts going around $50 a piece and I'm not sure on ties, so these guys go down to our 'mitumba' markets and get good second hand suits for around $40 or $50 a shot - probably only worn the once! And dress shirts are anything from $5, so as you can imagine $150 for clothes can actually go quite a long way!
We're quite into second hand our end - I have a lot of 'labelled' wear for maximum $5 a shot, but shshh don't tell anyone I'm wearing 'mitumba' - He He :-)