Saturday, March 1, 2008

I've so missed out.

Oh bloody buggery bollocks, I’ve damn well gone and missed my chance.

Oooooooh gosh, sorry about all the jolly bad words I’ve slipped in there. Lucky my son doesn’t read this or all that blasphemy would have cost me a small fortune.

Anyway, back to the point ………..

Yesterday was the 29th of February, and what does that mean?
Huh, Huh, huh, anyone know? ………….

Now don’t get smart with me and tell me that it's a day that only comes along once every four years and what a jolly lucky day it must therefore be for anyone who was born on the 29th as they finally get to celebrate again. I suppose it must be a bit of a bummer that, having a birthday only once every four years – I mean, think of all the pressies you miss out on for the other three years in between when you don’t get a birthday – Mind you, it must keep you young!

Whoops, there I go, off on yet another tangent …..

Now, where was I – Oh yes, what I missed out on yesterday.

Welllllll, it was of course the one day that occurs every four years that a lady is morally correct to ask a man to marry her!! – and I was, it seems, asleep can you believe.

Bum, bum, bum (Whoops, there goes another few quid to my son’s swear fund!) – but really, with all the charming chaps that swing by here, I could have perhaps finally found myself a perfect suitor.

I mean, apart from the lurkers – who of course will miss out on the fact they too could have hooked up with the ‘Mzungu Chick’ – and don’t come begging now let me tell you, you are far too late in the day to try and tempt me into asking your hand in marriage, I mean I have queues of suitors lined up in my comments box.

For a start I could have asked the lovely Mr Bananas – he’s always commenting on the fact that a little more flesh is a lovely thing – so he’s obviously a perfect suitor and I can tuck into another packet of Malteasers without guilt rather than rushing about on that treadmill that’s gathering dust in my spare room and shouts at me every time I pass “Come on you lazy git, plug me in and get running!” – Evil machine I tell you. In fact I might put it on ebay and see if I can get a couple of quid for the evil thing. - Might put people off that they’ll have to buy an airfare to Nairobi to pick it up and the baggage allowance might not cover it – resulting in a few quid excess – so could perhaps make it a rather costly affair – but well worth it can I say!!

I could have perhaps asked the equally lovely Mr Sneeze – I mean you always hear the Irish are trying their best to emigrate elsewhere – so he may be up for a trip to deepest darkest Africa.

Then there’s Zed who sounds like a smashing chap, The Lone Ranger – I was always partial to a bit of a cowboy, and there seems to be lots of inspiring chaps called ‘Anonymous’. I’ve spotted Ty – who with a name like that could probably swing either way, but I feel is most definitely a suitor. There’s even a few who drop by with sensible names that don’t sound at all like people who should live in my head, like William, Peter and Jason.

I could go on, but actually there is absolutely no point whatsoever as its now March the 1st and I’ve missed my slot, and will now have to wait another four years before I’ll get another chance, and by then I’ll be far too old and if I do happen to get down on one knee will more than likely never get up again!!

Ho Hum. Well it’s probably a good thing, I do like the fact that all these smashing people out there in cyberspace can live in my head.

Cyberpets are so much more fun don’t you think ??!






12 comments:

aims said...

You made me laugh MC - a very good post indeed -

You didn't say who you might have chosen in all actuality....let me think about this one for a while...

Gorilla Bananas said...

Miss Chick, you're a kind of woman a gorilla would give up his harem for. But how would your darling boy feel about a brood of hairy half brothers and sisters?

Primal Sneeze said...

Messed up there, didn't ya. You know the way you and I aren't on a date tonight at the blog awards? Well, we should have not had that date yesterday instead.

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Aims - I think the cyber puppy is so much more fun - and he never complains!

Mr Bananas - I think my small boy would love the company and he's always been partial to cuddly hairy things.

Primal - I can't believe I forgot we didn't have a date last night. Thanks for asking me, i had an excellent evening and hope you did too. We should do it again sometime (or Not!) :0)

Ty^ said...

very interesting post :-) you've made my day MC. How about if we fast forward to feb 29th the year 2012? Are u ready? Im waiting :-)

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Well, Well Ty, I'd knew you'd be up to the challenge. I'm afraid my time machine has gone for service, but see you in 2012. Try not to go blue holding your breath until then! :o)

zed said...

mc...just imagine getting to be an honorary daughter of the lake and being able to eat fish and spit the bone out sans probleme. quite something huh? now hold on to that thought so you don't forget to ask me come 2012.

how come kofi was not in the least btw? i smell something. he's not taken you with him has he?

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Zed - I am already an honorary fish eater after attending Kisumu Primary as a 5 year old, so we're good there!!

And I never got a look in with Kofi - the wife obviously got wind of my amorous chat and turned up in person to whisk him away!

Lone Ranger said...

lol...

ati I'm cowboy....lol..

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Lone Ranger - I'm imaging some kind of hat like Moody !

Lone Ranger said...

naa Mzungu chick,not like Moody's but more like chuck Norris, and yes My glock does work, it's a 9mm.

** Lone Ranger tipping his hat as he moves awayfrom mc**

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Lone Ranger - and I always thought Moody had borrowed the look from Chuck Norris!!

**mc chuckles and looks coy**