I've so missed out.

Oh bloody buggery bollocks, I’ve damn well gone and missed my chance.

Oooooooh gosh, sorry about all the jolly bad words I’ve slipped in there. Lucky my son doesn’t read this or all that blasphemy would have cost me a small fortune.

Anyway, back to the point ………..

Yesterday was the 29th of February, and what does that mean?
Huh, Huh, huh, anyone know? ………….

Now don’t get smart with me and tell me that it's a day that only comes along once every four years and what a jolly lucky day it must therefore be for anyone who was born on the 29th as they finally get to celebrate again. I suppose it must be a bit of a bummer that, having a birthday only once every four years – I mean, think of all the pressies you miss out on for the other three years in between when you don’t get a birthday – Mind you, it must keep you young!

Whoops, there I go, off on yet another tangent …..

Now, where was I – Oh yes, what I missed out on yesterday.

Welllllll, it was of course the one day that occurs every four years that a lady is morally correct to ask a man to marry her!! – and I was, it seems, asleep can you believe.

Bum, bum, bum (Whoops, there goes another few quid to my son’s swear fund!) – but really, with all the charming chaps that swing by here, I could have perhaps finally found myself a perfect suitor.

I mean, apart from the lurkers – who of course will miss out on the fact they too could have hooked up with the ‘Mzungu Chick’ – and don’t come begging now let me tell you, you are far too late in the day to try and tempt me into asking your hand in marriage, I mean I have queues of suitors lined up in my comments box.

For a start I could have asked the lovely Mr Bananas – he’s always commenting on the fact that a little more flesh is a lovely thing – so he’s obviously a perfect suitor and I can tuck into another packet of Malteasers without guilt rather than rushing about on that treadmill that’s gathering dust in my spare room and shouts at me every time I pass “Come on you lazy git, plug me in and get running!” – Evil machine I tell you. In fact I might put it on ebay and see if I can get a couple of quid for the evil thing. - Might put people off that they’ll have to buy an airfare to Nairobi to pick it up and the baggage allowance might not cover it – resulting in a few quid excess – so could perhaps make it a rather costly affair – but well worth it can I say!!

I could have perhaps asked the equally lovely Mr Sneeze – I mean you always hear the Irish are trying their best to emigrate elsewhere – so he may be up for a trip to deepest darkest Africa.

Then there’s Zed who sounds like a smashing chap, The Lone Ranger – I was always partial to a bit of a cowboy, and there seems to be lots of inspiring chaps called ‘Anonymous’. I’ve spotted Ty – who with a name like that could probably swing either way, but I feel is most definitely a suitor. There’s even a few who drop by with sensible names that don’t sound at all like people who should live in my head, like William, Peter and Jason.

I could go on, but actually there is absolutely no point whatsoever as its now March the 1st and I’ve missed my slot, and will now have to wait another four years before I’ll get another chance, and by then I’ll be far too old and if I do happen to get down on one knee will more than likely never get up again!!

Ho Hum. Well it’s probably a good thing, I do like the fact that all these smashing people out there in cyberspace can live in my head.

Cyberpets are so much more fun don’t you think ??!

adopt your own virtual pet!