Now What ......

The latest episode that has become the saga of our lives here in Kenya is now that we are being held hostage by gangs of thugs (- apart from those of our coalition government of course, although all being sworn in quite happily today with Uncle Kofi standing by, are still arguing - sorry, negotiating), but by a well known terror gang known as the 'Mungiki'.

I have mentioned them before as over the last few months, they have been shockingly brazen about revealing themselves and brandishing their weapons and tactics about, and this latest episode even has them holding press conferences.

What is slightly worrying here is that the police insist they are in control of the whole thing. Eric Kiraithe, the police spokesman, has been marvelous as always, and has told all Kenyans to get their arses back on the street and stop getting so excited about a few hundred pyromaniacs roaming the streets with their box of matches in one hand and machete in the other threatening people.

“But Hey Mr. Kiraithe, Pray do tell,

If it was your brother living in Muranga town innocently running a little shop making a few thousand shillings a day, who was then told “Open your shop today and the consequences are a ten thousand shilling fine (which he could not possibly afford), or being beheaded, would you be still telling him to get his arse downtown and open those doors?”

The government somehow does not seem overly concerned about the whole affair. I'm not quite sure if it's because they're still smarting over who missed out on being in the incredibly inflated cabinet that we can ill afford, or if its that they're too busy getting in their wish list on which car, house, office desk, etc they would like to have purchased for them now that they are all so incredibly important! But whichever it is, they do not seem excessively bothered by how many Kenyans have been burnt alive or executed, and how much more property has been destroyed just in the last few days.

I was talking to someone in the morning who lives in Dandora. Now personally I would have said that Dandora was really one of the better areas of Nairobi in which to live. Rents are far from being the cheapest and it is most definitely not a ‘bad’ area of town with minimal violence, thuggery or anything else going down there – even in the post-election skirmishes - but now it seems Dandora is not the place you wish to be calling “home” anymore.

Now it seems that if you live in Dandora, first of all, you’ll be lucky if you can find transport at all, as all the matatus (or mini buses) that run around the area into and out of town have been warned off the roads, and those that are operating are charging over 150/- (over US$2) per trip, which when most wanainchi make not much over that in a day is not exactly conducive to bother going to work at all. Then she tells me that all the ladies in the area have been given leaflets telling them what to wear.

It must be a skirt and the length must reach below the knee.

Penalty for not following the dress code is a humiliating stripping and public beating.

Last night, SMS’s were sent round all over saying that you must leave the city centre by 7.30pm or you shall be killed. Then this morning new SMS’s stated that all those who work in the Industrial Area should not go into work.

It’s all just fear mongering but hey how much is your life worth, and is it worth ignoring these warnings because by doing so ‘Eric Kiraithe’ says you’re doing the right thing ??

The public demands from the Mungiki are that they are mourning the death of the wife of their leader (who is currently inside being entertained at the country’s expense), who was shot last week together with her driver, and they believe the police were involved and should be brought to book for it, and that they want some police force group that has been formed to crack down on them all, to be disbanded.

However, the leaflets now circulating on the ground ‘explaining’ this reign of terror go with a slightly different, yet more realistic reasoning, and that is that the ‘Mungiki’ say they have not been paid their ‘protection’ monies from various government ministers for the last few months. They had no part in the general election and therefore gained no rewards from that, and now that the Kikuyu’s have not taken a majority in the parliament and just to prove how powerful they are, they are going to paralyse operations in Kenya just to show that ‘all is not normal’ just because a cabinet has been named and all is ‘apparently well’.

They also explain that they are the ancestors of the ‘Mau Mau’ and that they brought independence to Kenya and therefore all the land gained from the colonials is rightfully theirs and they now wish to be handed over.

In this leaflet, there were apparently some ministers actually named of who they generally receive money from quite regularly, and reading it seems to me to make quite a few other discrepancies in our world here add up a lot better.

I personally will keep that bit of gossip to myself as like a true Kenyan I like to do some serious stirring of the pot and then keep all the best meat for me !!

Kofi Annan finally gets to go home

Well Mr Annan finally left us this morning. I bet Mr Kibaki is mightily relieved to see the back of him as he’ll probably feel that he won’t get harassed into anymore giving way now.

Kofi got waved off by a pile of dignitaries, a lot of farewell singing and a Civil servant who gave him a white cockerel, “a gift he said represented ordinary poor Kenyans who suffered most during the nearly two months of violence sparked by last year's disputed presidential elections results.”

Well, I wonder what Kenya Airways will say about that little number packed in his luggage! Lets hope it wasn’t an overnight flight or the pilot’s going to get an awful shock when he’s about to land at his next destination and the cockerel starts crowing. He’ll probably think it’s a warning signal that one of the engines is shutting down! Anyway, I suppose if it doesn’t survive the plane journey they’ll always be a chance of fresh chicken and chips at the other end, so there’s a bonus for the man!

I bet he was really glad he came now and spent over one month of his life listening to grown men and women bickering whilst people were slaughtered around their feet, because at least, after the one and a half months away from home, he’s got something to show for all his hard work.

Personally I feel a little bit frightened, a bit like a small child who’s been left alone for the first time without their parents and isn’t quite sure what might happen next, but has no choice but to keep faith with their surroundings and hope that everything will turn out just fine, exactly like their parents assured them it would.

The talks will continue under the leadership of a Nigerian former minister Oluyemi Adeniji who is to take over from Mr Annan as chairman of negotiations between PNU and ODM, but in theory this is to now handle the small print, but you know what they say; “Always be careful of the small print and make sure you read it VERY carefully”.

Anyway let’s hope that they don’t argue too much over it and it all stays friendly.

I’m sorry I don’t have a prize winning cockerel to give to Mr Annan to show my appreciation for what he has done for us but I do hope he can accept my thanks anyway. Ta Ta ...

Thank You !

Talks have NOT collapsed BUT they have been suspended .....

Hmmmmm ......
Sorry, but what the f*** does that mean?


Kofi: "I'm suspending these talks and shall now directly engage Kibaki and Raila to find a way forward and speed up the finding of a solution to this crisis."

ODM: "It's not our fault the talks have stalled, it's their fault."

PNU: "No, No, you've been pushing and pushing. It's your fault, not ours!"



The International community has threatened 'serious actions' against the country yet again, and Mutula Kilonzo has responded with "This is a Kenyan problem that will be sorted by Kenyans and we do not need to be pressured by anyone on the outside."

He might as well have said "Up yours Condi and friends, we can f*** this up perfectly well on our own without you pushing us thank you."

Personally I have absolutely nothing to add as it has become far too depressing for more words, and on the evening news, they are going with;

"Let's have a big discussion about how horribly, horribly wrong it will all go if the talks fail."

Smashing peeps, thanks for that. Think I might pass and have an early night instead if you don't mind.

Today’s NON news broadcast.

There’s really bugger all to say. The mediation teams broke up early yesterday after the PNU camp turned up late and then the ODM camp walked out as far as I can tell, but it’s OK because Kofi says he still thinks he’s making progress.

That’s lovely dear, thanks for nothing really.

He keeps telling us “They’re making good progress”, and then the truth comes out and ‘good progress’ means they are still talking to each other and not a lot else, or perhaps I have it all wrong, and it just means the coffee was hot at break time, and lunch was a delightful spread.

- Who really knows?

Never mind, Mr Annan, at least you and your lovely wife got a spot of fresh air today and went for a stroll at the Nairobi Animal Orphanage.

When he spoke to the press, Mr Annan said the Orphanage was lovely and very peaceful and perhaps he might bring the mediation team along there with him next time

...... Good thinking Kofi, you could lock them up in the cages and throw away the keys!

I understand ODM issued some kind of statement along the usual lines of ‘Yes, we will have the Prime Minister’s position thank you, but you better make sure it comes with some serious power and that no-one can sack us!’

Kibaki responded with an official message from ‘The Office of the President’ which said ‘Let’s work together as Kenyans’ – but not a sausage about whether they will ever agree or not.

Monday will be yet another exciting day on the Kenyan calendar with mayoral elections taking place. Last time that happened it turned into a full blown fisticuffs fight with chairs and tables flying about the room, so what on earth they have in store for us this time round doesn’t even bear thinking about.

The arguments are already in full flow with ODM claiming that half their nominees were left out, (but they still have their allocated 13 names), and PNU had an allocation of 7 names and apparently have fielded 15 candidates, so there’s a good start!

Today, the Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka continued his Africa tour telling all Presidents in neighbouring countries not to worry about a thing as ‘things in Kenya were just hunky dory’ and ‘normalcy was returning’ ……

Shame he forgot to mention that in Nyeri today, all the civil servants downed tools and went on strike as the new treasurer that has just been transferred to their division is ‘a foreigner’ and they want ‘one of their own’ in that position or they will refuse to go back to work!

Great, and he calls that ‘normalcy’ …..

Personally I’d call it TRIBALISM.

Anyone got a torch ??

According to the latest news out of the BBC - these international chaps seem a damn site more reliable than our local ones with the sellotape over their mouths whilst the media council and ministry for misinformation fight it out about how "free and fair our media is"
.... Ha ! ...... Ha ! ...... Ha!
Oh my god, sorry, just couldn't stop laughing there for a minute.
Sorry, where was I - er, F.R.E.E A.N.D F.A.I.R - er, did I write that really??!!??

Seemed to have strayed from the point which was that the Beeb has just released this;


"Ex-UN chief Kofi Annan has announced considerable progress in talks between Kenya's government and opposition aimed at ending the political crisis.

"I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel," Mr Annan said after negotiators from President Mwai Kibaki's government and the opposition Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) adjourned their talks on Thursday.

The negotiators are expected to report back with a possible final deal to be signed on Friday."

Yup, OK Kofi, we're with you there, Yup, er, sorry, 'light' did you say - Er, no, sorry mate, can't seem to see a damn thing, oh, er, wait, er, here's something else coming through from the Beeb;

"None of the details has been confirmed by Kofi Annan's team, "

Yes, thought so, now it all makes perfect sense. F*** All has really happened, it's just bloody hot, you're fed up with all these idiots shouting at each other and you could do with a damn good swim in that gorgeous pool glistening outside your conference window.

That's OK Kofi, you should have just said so. We're Kenyans - you may think you can pull the wool over our eyes but actually we have dead cool rumourmongering services that can outshine the whole worlds rumours in one and if you don't want to tell us anything honey, that's absolutely fine, because we'll make it all up anyway and by the time you get back to that conference room tomorrow morning, we'll have probably rumoured up a coup or something drastic like that. So you go ahead hun, relax, take it easy, enjoy your swim, and we'll try our best to keep those pangas blood free and matches unlit ......

"Fresh violence breaks out in Mathare slums as homes are burnt and police shoot into the air to try and disperse the crowds whilst one person is known of being hacked to death in the early hours"
Oh, sorry, didn't manage it this morning, but we'll try better this afternoon, honest !

Is this what Kenyans are reduced to?

Found this picture in one of our local dailies this morning with this caption;

“A man having fun at the Thompson Falls in Nyahururu yesterday. The falls attract many tourists but has in recent weeks recorded low numbers of visitors. The drop has been attributed to post-election violence.”

So there you go folks, just shows there’s bugger all news to report and Kenyans have nothing better to do than practice their levitating skills and hope someone takes a picture and puts it in the paper to waste some space!

Just to prove how far we haven’t got with these discussions, this is a little excerpt taken from the leading story in The Daily Nation newspaper this morning; “Kibaki’s proposals on how to end poll crisis” as how they all stand as of yesterday.

“According to a statement by the Presidential Press Service, the President was willing to work together and share responsibilities in Government with members of the ODM. The President, however, cautioned that any political solution that will be proposed must be in tandem with the current constitution.

………………………….

The Government side, which was expected to table its written proposal of a coalition government in which President Kibaki retained his positions as the Head of Government and Head of State with a readiness to appoint a non-executive Prime Minister, came up with a different suggestion.

They submitted that President Kibaki was declared the winner of the 2007 Presidential elections and sworn in office according to the Constitution and should be recognised by ODM as the legitimate winner of the polls.

...........................................

Now we’re going to have a little challenge.

Who can spot the difference between what is being said as of yesterday and what was being said 6 weeks ago when this row all kicked off and our country was put into this political stalemate?

Anyone who can find a difference deserves a fat reward, (not of course from me, as I, as usual, am totally broke and the 57/= that I have in the bank currently will not get you much further than buying yourself a packet of chewing gum – well perhaps of course not quite a whole packet as that would be 60/= but almost a packet of chewing gum).

But back to the point – what have these negotiating teams actually achieved, and does anyone know if Kofi Annan is perhaps looking for a house to buy so he can settle in Kenya for the next 5 years whilst he sorts this out, as he’s promised not to leave us in the lurch?

I only hope he didn’t have his fingers crossed behind his back when he made that promise.

I thought I'd do a Kofi on you!

Seeing as the delightful Mr Annan has told us to have a news blackout for the next 48 to 72 hours on what on earth is going on with our mediation and all, I thought I should oblige, but you know me, I just can't seem to keep my big gob shut so here I am anyway blathering on as usual.

What I love about Kenyans is we so can't keep a secret. We were having bets yesterday in the office of how long it would take us to find out the "secret location" of the retreat where all the mediators have retired to because it isn't possible to keep anything quiet round these parts let me tell you!

Well, I think they did well considering. We only got the news yesterday evening through a friend's friend's friend's colleague - you know how it is - that they're at a very nice little lodge in Tsavo West. I'll say no more - and if you work it out for yourselves, "I know absolutely nothing!", and you never heard it from me.


Who? Where? What are you on about?

You know how I think Mr Annan's such a doll and I shall not betray him further! But can I just say that does it really matter where they are holed up anyway as surely no-one is allowed in at all and the telephones are probably down anyway, I mean this is Kenya for goodness sake!

And another thing, they'd better sort it before they step foot back into town or I'll change my mind on that Mr Annan and I shall not be volunteering to have his babies after all!

Enough of that gossiping now, let's talk about something far more interesting. Let's talk about ME!

I have taken a few days off work, seeing as it's half term and all and I shall be flying out to a secret retreat all of my own tomorrow, not sadly with a sweetheart on my arm for Vaseline's day, but with my small boy and my camera. I will be sure to take lots and lots of fab pictures of where I am and then post them over here so that you will all be incredibly jealous and drool a lot and I will once again put your faith back into our beautiful home, insist you all book flights and I shall personally organise your itineraries forthwith!

Catch you tomorrow from my 'secret' destination.

I suppose we can't have everything.

Today in Kenya there is some good news and some not so good filling our media.

Listening to the news updates, we are definitely going in the right direction I think with regards to the mediation talks and a little 'Whoop' may not be out of place just now - but perhaps a quiet one, in case all those little chicks don't hatch as hoped.

Mr. Annan says that the media shouldn't conjure up any rumours and the ups and downs seen by all of the parties - one day shaking hands and the next spitting, is all 'mood swings' that are 'totally normal' in negotiations and we really shouldn't speculate over what we are seeing, but must all wait to hear what we are told and not listen to 'leaks'.

So there, that's told us hey! Kofi Annan should have been born a woman I reckon - he's so au fait with mood swings and one minute everyone's speaking and the next not. He's so not cut out to be a bloke - he actually 'understands' all these ununderstandables. If he wasn't quite so old and grey, I may have even offered to have his children, he's so fab! Mind you, saying that, I think that continuously cool, calm demeanour may do me in in the end - I mean I like a little bit of spunk in a man, and he's distinctly lacking that, but he is doing such a marvellous job with these stubborn thugs of ours,

I just can't help but admire the man, and think I may just have to slot him right up there with my heroes along with Indiana Jones and Darth Vader!

Meanwhile, in some parts of Kenya there are some militia groups that have taken to telling women what to wear can you believe. It turns out that low cut tops, mini-skirts and trousers are no longer to be worn by ladies in the areas around Nakuru, Naivasha and Limuru, and any women caught wearing such things have been known to be stripped naked in the streets and robbed and beaten.

It is absolutely ridiculous. I totally agree that there may be perhaps some people (especially those regularly on our screens such as young Britney here), really should have a better dress sense as lumpy legs are not really the most attractive things to look at on a sunny Saturday afternoon but come on, we do not live in the dark ages.

Lucy Oriang' from the Daily Nation summed it up well I thought in her commentary with this;

"Nothing can be more immoral than killing a human being just because they belong to a different community.

Isn't it ironical that the very same people who have blood on their hands should take the moral high ground over what women choose to wear?"

The future of Kenya sits on Kofi Annan's shoulders.

It all looks fairly worrying for Mr Annan I'm afraid. This is the front page headline in one of our local dailies today, The Standard, plus a small extract from the article;


"Disputed election too hot for rivals to handle

Finally, the hotly disputed presidential votes tally, responsible for the post-election falling out which touched off mayhem on a scale never witnessed before in independent Kenya, found its way to the mediation talks table.

They began on the presidential election dispute by looking at the state of affairs now and how to resolve the problem. Proper talks, however, begin today.

Like hot bricks, ODM is said to have dropped the matter of the allegedly stolen presidential election complete with alleged evidence and a raft of demands for electoral reforms.

Sources also intimated that the issue of a transitional government briefly featured, forcing an immediate stalemate.

For the first time, the two teams ate lunch separately."

Now ask me how I'm feeling today after reading this? ...
No, you're right - don't bother. I think I am beyond depression and just feel numb with despair.

Absolutely everyone is already talking about Annan's mediation in a way that sounds like they're giving up hope that it will work on the one hand, and on the other they all seem to be saying If Annan gives up or leaves us now, there will be outright civil war here in Kenya.

Old Kofi was looked incredibly stressed when I saw him being interviewed by the press last night, but I'm not surprised. The whole world's eyes are firmly focused on him now, and have rested the future of Kenya on his shoulders. I bet he wishes he stayed in his bed with that flu after all and hadn't bothered to come here in the first place.

Now he has got into talking about the real reason they are all there - the disputed election - all the parties sitting around the table have turned from pussy cats into raging bulls and there seems that there will be no let up by either side.

Outside of the talks the government is pretending everything is just 'hunky dory' and obviously feel if they can keep the pretense on for long enough, the rest of Kenya will be bored of it all and just give up and leave Kibaki be. Personally I think this would be a huge mistake for Kenya and its democracy. I don't believe in taking sides but I do believe that everyone has a right to be heard and curretnly the government (who cannot give security to anyone at all in Kenya right now) is not listening to anyone and for that they are wrong. I am not saying they must agree or disagree but they must at least give people a chance and these fake talks are just that - fake.

I think Raila is right when he says that the government, and especially Kibaki, is not taking these talks seriously at all, and I think the government is just partaking in order to pacify us Kenyans. But really, does he think we do not have brains and cannot think for ourselves. I do understand Kenyans are tired of fighting and are so keen to have this whole situation resolved but can that ever happen now with all the hate stirred up to such an extent.

I read something recently that said that perhaps Kenyans had always harboured this hatred and it just took this spark to ignite it all. I think they are right to a small extent as the majority of Kenyans had always had different feelings towards different tribes but I'm not sure that 'hatred' is the right word. It is just like in Great Britain where you have the Irish, Scottish, Welsh and English, but does it mean that absolutely hate each other - even though they have some cracking jokes against one another. However, it wasn't that long ago that they were battling so perhaps we are not so incredibly 'backward' as the first world likes to think. Don't forget we are behind in most of the education, technology, etc that the first world has to offer, but isn't that the whole point here - do Kenyans not also deserve to find a way to get to that same place? And is not the key to that place DEMOCRACY?

I would love to hear others views on this. I don't need a bunch of 'hate speech' because I shall most definitely delete it, but I would like to know what people really think of these discussions and who do we really want as our President right now. Is it still Raila or Kibaki, or perhaps Kofi Annan would be a better bet as he's completely impartial. Perhaps another Kenyan such as Marende - the speaker for parliament - who although he was an ODM MP, from what little I have seen of him since he was voted in as speaker, he did seem to speak as the independant that he has been supposedly voted in to be - but is he really? I don't know. What do you think?

If I get a lot of responses to this BIG question - I might set up a forum to which we can all contribute - or is there one already set up somewhere to which we can all be directed? I really think intelligent opinions of what Kenyans, or anyone else with a genuine interest in what happens to Kenya, really think could perhaps be forwarded to the mediators in case Mr Annan does bail on us, or just because I think they should perhaps know what the 'real' Kenyan thinks, not just the big wigs and the 'bags of money' CEO's with big business interests who, don't ever forget, will always have an alternative place to go and live, unlike the rest of us who have no choice but to stay in this our beloved home country of Kenya, and want to live once again in a land of peace and unity without fear.

Gossip, Rumour and Assumption

Kenyans are excellent when it comes to a spot of rumour mongering and gossip. You can always tell it's going to be a great Kenyan story as soon as it starts out with;

"You know, I don't like gossiping, but ......... Weellllll, Have you heard?",
and that's it, you know you're going to be all ears, you just can't seem to help yourself.

Well, when the story broke yesterday of the second MP from the Opposition party being shot dead not even 48 hours after coming to terms with the fact that the first MP, Were was shot, that was it, Kenyan's were off speculating before the sentence of "Did you hear?" was even finished, and from the comments I was left on my last post, we were all at it.

But here's the thing - Yes, we will all agree with the one comment saying that 99% of our MP's seem to have a zipper malfunction with their trousers and just can't seem to keep it up (the zip that is, now - stop it !)

We all know that 99% of Kenyan MP's (and a good majority of all Kenyan men in fact) are really quite partial to a bit of take-away (or a 'bit on the side' as they call it overseas), but I'm with the majority on this one that seem to point to the fact that it was 'Oh so convenient', that our friend Mr. Kimutai Too just happened to be cruising town with a spot of take-away, - that happened to be a lady cop – (I assume on duty, as she was in uniform, and was armed), a relative of his, and the fact that our very own police Commissioner, Major General Hussein Ali was so quick and forthcoming with a total explanation of what exactly happened in great detail without conducting any apparent investigations, and all within a just a few hours of it actually happening, it’s all extremely odd to say the least.

In the paper this morning we’ve had some superb reasons as to why Mr. Too had the lady policeman in his car;

“they were driving to the nearest hotel” – but obviously were totally lost as apparently there are no hotels anywhere near the area where they were shot

“the MP was teaching the woman how to drive” – er, most definitely why we vote our MP’s in – to teach the police how to drive – Gosh, of course, how silly of me not to have known that. In fact, next time, let’s just vote for the AA

“the MP was off to view a plot of land” – the only one that is perhaps vaguely plausible.

Other details that don’t seem to add up though in my book are –

Why was the policeman who committed the crime said to be one minute “known but on the run”, then an hour later he had “turned himself in”, then last night “he was caught up with in the next town and arrested”. Does anyone know anything about his arrest at all, how it came about and at what time of the day?

Then, once the police had the suspect in custody, he was “flown to Nairobi from Eldoret” and not kept in a cell in Eldoret so that he could be charged there. But why? Surely the cells in Eldoret are also lockable and the courts there seem to be dealing fine with charging the people they have caught so far to do with the rioting, etc.

The policeman's family were evacuated from their house within an hour of the shooting incident when a taxi came to collect them and took them away with a police escort to an unknown destination. Mmmm, ok, so why would the police assume his family was in danger if it really was just a 'love triangle' - surely we'd feel sorry for the woman?

The thing that really gets me after all this is the fact that the police, government and anyone else who has ‘assumed’ authority at the moment in this great country of ours, seems intent on pulling the wool over the eyes of all Kenyans.

I really wish Mr. Annan could just sort out this honesty issue first – then every other issue would surely fall into place.

Perhaps all MP’s, Presidents, Police Commissioners and anyone else with a bit of power in their hands should walk around with a lie detector strapped to them so that anytime they opened their mouth and total lies emerged, they’d get themselves electrocuted or perhaps kicked in the arse (both in fact would be good for me), and once their hair sticks straight up on end with all the electricity charged through it and their bums well and truly hurt from all the kicking,

THEN perhaps we may get somewhere – peace may be a possibility – and Mr. Annan can return to his lovely wife and children (I’m assuming here he does have some of those), and Kenyans can live happily ever after.

Calm is a strange thing ....

So far today, there has been no news alerts, security alerts or anything else and it's almost 11.00 in the morning - it's really very exciting actually.

There is a strange unease in the air - as we just don't seem to be used to this calm, and by now have usually heard of some trouble somewhere in the country kicking off by this time of the morning.

I do hope we can do a whole 24 hours like this - that would be a first for a while and would be extremely welcome. So many people are homeless as tribe has gone against tribe, neighbour against neighbour, just because of the difference in their names. The red cross has been struggling to get up to the likes of the more North Western regions because of the continuous trouble on the roads, so lets hope that today is the day they get lucky and get some aid up those ways.

Yesterday, after the little get together of the warring parties and the mediator Kofi Annan, they all stood about for a spot of tea and a small relaxed chat. Jolly good show, you'd say, but actually the fact that Raila and Kibaki could not look each other in the eye was really quite telling, and when Kofi Annan insisted they shook hands for all the jolly nice press people who'd turned up, the look on their faces said it all.

Joseph King'ang'i had it so right on the Classic FM breakfast show he's on in the morning with Maina Kageni. He said you could imagine Raila saying; "Lete mkono haraka!", (Bring your hand quickly!) and Kibaki saying "W aaa c h aaaa, W aaa c h aaaa!" (Leave it, Leave it!)

He said if they had had to shake hands for more than the one minute that they did, bones would have been broken. It was not a handshake as more of a gripping contest!

Daily Nation Headlines today.

Front page headlines in the 'Daily Nation' are;
"Six killed as Annan arrives for crisis talks" - which to me means;
a) Kofi Annan has finally appeared, and
b) No-one really gives a damn, as the different tribes in the different regions have already decided who shall live where and if you disagree, they will burn your house down, and if they catch you, you will be hacked to death ........

Good Luck Mr. Annan, you're certainly going to need it.

Kenyans continue to live in a dream world.

Well there's been some marvellous lines coming out of government nominated ministers with regards to the hopeful negotiations that all of us Kenyans have been waiting for in earnest on the eve of the opening of parliament and the arrival of Mr Kofi Annan.

The government has now announced that they are only letting Kofi Annan into the country through courtesy and they had not invited him (he was only invited by the ODM party only), as they have no complaints themselves with the election results and don't see why they need mediation at all! The government doesn't sound like they have any thoughts of real negotiations and will just try and pretend everything is quite normal and get on with business as usual.

I am personally distraught by this new revelation as it sounds like we will most definitely be in for some tense few days and things in this country could go horribly wrong once again.

My driver went home to Western Kenya this weekend to bury some family members, (one of which was caught up in the violence), and he tells me tension is incredibly high still in the ODM stronghold. On the main roads - even now - there are roadblocks being set up by Kalenjins with ODM t-shirts and caps stopping people and asking them what tribe they are and where their political affiliations lie.

I have also heard from someone living in Siaya (which is again in the Western part of the country), that the town is overrun with armed men dressed in Kenya police uniform who seem to know very little Swahili and only speak to each other in Luganda.

This does not bode well at all, as Ugandan soldiers are well known for having absolutely no qualms about shooting anyone who they feel is in their way.

This has been vehemently denied by the marvellous Alfred Mutua - the government spokesman who right now the whole of Kenya seems to want to blat - whichever side of the fence they are on, as he has this fixed smirk on his face that really needs wiping off! The rumours of the Ugandan troops has also been denied by the police spokesman and whoever else on the government side has been asked about it.

Aid trucks from the Red Cross have been attacked in lots of Western areas trying to do their best and feed the people. It seems that they are being targeted by gangs who try and get everything off the truck for themselves and their own groups and they have no wish to share it fairly with those displaced it seems. Perhaps this is because these gangs are the ones who displaced those the Red Cross are trying to feed - who knows, but whatever the reason, people are starving that is for sure.

What is going on out there in Western Kenya is really quite a frightening prospect and I think here in Nairobi we are being shielded incredibly well from the real truth of what is going on right under our noses.

Some fab Kenyans have taken the initiative and set up a website in order to try and change the fact that we are living in a little bubble here pretending things are just 'business as usual', which from reports of people up-country, are so not. The website is Ushahidi.com and is a tool for people who witness acts of violence in Kenya in these post-election times. You can report the incident that you have seen, and it appears on a map-based view for others to see. They are working with local Kenyan NGO’s to get information and to verify each incident.

Meanwhile here in Nairobi the centre of town will be on 'lock down' from 11am as Parliament is scheduled to sit at noon.

I'll be sure to let you know what I hear, as I hear it tomorrow.

Do you think we started a trend?

We've had this over the weekend ......

Rally against Georgia poll result

Protesters say the vote was rigged in Mr Saakashvili's favour
Thousands of opposition supporters have taken to the streets in Georgia in protest at what they say were rigged presidential elections last weekend.

This one is just warming up .....

Pakistan sets new election date

Elections originally scheduled for 8 January in Pakistan will now take place on 18 February, polling officials say.

The main opposition parties say they will take part, despite having demanded the election not be delayed. They have accused officials of seeking to rig it.

and now we even have the 'Persil' USofA in on the act ......

- mind you - considering that Senator Obama had a Luo father (same tribe as Raila), I do suppose this one would make sense!

Hillary Clinton faces recount over rival's 'vote rig' claims

Hillary Clinton is facing an embarrassing recount after her win in the New Hampshire primary - because a rival claims there were "serious and credible" concerns about the poll.

Mrs Clinton revived her bid for the Democratic presidential nomination last Tuesday with her win over Barack Obama - despite trailing him in a dozen polls.

"Serious and credible reports, allegations and rumour have surfaced. It is imperative these questions are addressed."

An election official said the results merely revealed that Mr Obama was strongest in rural areas - where most votes were hand-counted - and Mrs Clinton strongest in the cities, where machines were principally used.

Looks like Kofi Annan might be in for a busy year ahead!

- "But please Mr. Annan, if you don't mind, come save us first!"

- ".. and by the way, if I can pick you up at the airport, it's not a problem, I'm pretty much free tomorrow, and I do realise all our big wigs will be busy in Parliament all day."

- playing musical chairs and having a punch-up I should imagine, but busy all the same!