Anyone got a torch ??

According to the latest news out of the BBC - these international chaps seem a damn site more reliable than our local ones with the sellotape over their mouths whilst the media council and ministry for misinformation fight it out about how "free and fair our media is"
.... Ha ! ...... Ha ! ...... Ha!
Oh my god, sorry, just couldn't stop laughing there for a minute.
Sorry, where was I - er, F.R.E.E A.N.D F.A.I.R - er, did I write that really??!!??

Seemed to have strayed from the point which was that the Beeb has just released this;


"Ex-UN chief Kofi Annan has announced considerable progress in talks between Kenya's government and opposition aimed at ending the political crisis.

"I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel," Mr Annan said after negotiators from President Mwai Kibaki's government and the opposition Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) adjourned their talks on Thursday.

The negotiators are expected to report back with a possible final deal to be signed on Friday."

Yup, OK Kofi, we're with you there, Yup, er, sorry, 'light' did you say - Er, no, sorry mate, can't seem to see a damn thing, oh, er, wait, er, here's something else coming through from the Beeb;

"None of the details has been confirmed by Kofi Annan's team, "

Yes, thought so, now it all makes perfect sense. F*** All has really happened, it's just bloody hot, you're fed up with all these idiots shouting at each other and you could do with a damn good swim in that gorgeous pool glistening outside your conference window.

That's OK Kofi, you should have just said so. We're Kenyans - you may think you can pull the wool over our eyes but actually we have dead cool rumourmongering services that can outshine the whole worlds rumours in one and if you don't want to tell us anything honey, that's absolutely fine, because we'll make it all up anyway and by the time you get back to that conference room tomorrow morning, we'll have probably rumoured up a coup or something drastic like that. So you go ahead hun, relax, take it easy, enjoy your swim, and we'll try our best to keep those pangas blood free and matches unlit ......

"Fresh violence breaks out in Mathare slums as homes are burnt and police shoot into the air to try and disperse the crowds whilst one person is known of being hacked to death in the early hours"
Oh, sorry, didn't manage it this morning, but we'll try better this afternoon, honest !