Saturday, February 2, 2008

The 4 point peace plan according to Mr Annan

Before I start my post today will all those reading this, please place their tongues firmly in their cheeks before I begin (or you just won’t get my points, and I could get arrested!)

Well Kofi Annan did his bit of mediation yesterday with the ‘Big 6’ (3 from each sides of the opposition), and said that they had an agreed an AGENDA !

Whoopee and well done boys (and girls). That’s only taken you the best part of this week – best you take the weekend off don’t you think – Oh you will, OK then don’t mind us whilst everyone gets on with a spot of lynching, shooting, hacking, looting and burning then!

Funnily enough, that is what’s been going on for most of our Saturday in and around Western Kenya. So far I’ve heard of at least four killed and hundreds of homes burnt up in the Western areas around Eldoret and Kericho, and yet another few hundred people are now displaced.

So how exactly has Mr Annan helped us so far?

Well, it seems the agenda is a four-point plan (or a 44 point plan if you listen to the latest media reports, but I'll go with the 4),with short-term and long-term issues that need to be sorted. The short term ones are;

First is to take ‘immediate action’ to stop the violence and restore fundamental rights and liberties – these include the right to life (which is always a bit of a bonus), the freedom of the press in their reporting of events (which would be nice as perhaps less rumour mongering would be in order), and the right of assembly (which may mean we’re in for a spot more rallying which will be smashing – literally probably!)
But here’s the first catch. I never realised ‘immediate action’ would mean, well lets have the weekend and a bit of time out seeing as we worked for a whole 10 hours yesterday so we need at least 48 off for good behaviour, and we’ll return Monday after both parties have battered each other with more abuse and more innocent Kenyans are robbed and killed, and then we can settle down with a cup of coffee and get back to business.

Secondly is ‘immediate measures’ – of course you know what they mean by ‘immediate’, it’s as explained above – is to address the humanitarian crisis. Of course, those IDPs (internally displaced people for those of you new to this humanitarian speak, which I was actually before the beginning of January 2008!), can just starve a little longer whilst the Red Cross struggles with security on the roads trying their damndest to help to feed, clothe and give these people shelter. But not to worry, as we highlighted earlier, we’ll be back to the cozy boardroom in the Serena Hotel with our coffee and biscuits working on that, first thing Monday.

Thirdly on the four-point agenda is how to overcome the political crisis.

Ah, now this one could be slightly trickier seeing as Kibaki has just told the African Union conference that basically Raila can ‘get stuffed’ if he thinks he’s going to get any kind of justice with regards to the election because of course Kibaki says that he won fair and square and if Raila has an issue with that, then best he gets himself down to those law courts and have that smashing bunch of chaps that he personally appointed as judges, sort it out.

And the last agenda point concerned long term issues such as unemployment, poverty and land reforms.

The mediation team (or ‘facilitation’ team as Kibaki insists it is), have all assured us that the first three points in this agenda will be resolved between 7 and 15 days from the start of the dialogue on January 28th. So seeing as we’ve had lots of time off and now a bit of a weekend, in my book we are supposed to be looking at things being sorted starting Monday the 4th February (which already looks completely unlikely as they will only just be getting stuck back into the coffee and biccies by then back in the boardroom), and Monday 11th February.
– so perhaps they best they stop faffing about and get on with it wouldn’t you say?!?!?!


Dad Mzungu said...


Ah come on! You know better than me that a dealice in Kenya is flexible, even before the crisis.
The Spanish have nothing on Kenyans when it comes to manana - I don'r know what the Swahili word is, but there must be at least half a dozen.

I am just thankful that they have actually agreed to sit in the same building, let alone room.

But this attitude is scary:
"Let Annan do his bit but there's going to be no resolution. The clashes will continue," a youth manning a roadblock near the town [Kericho], who gave his name as Lefty, told the agency.

Dad Mzungu said...

Did I say "dealice". I meant to type deadline. Thatwill teach me not to read me comments before posting them!


Thanks DM, Yes the attitude is very scary. Let's just hope for a better week ahead.