Oh, For F***’s Sake !

Sorry for the outburst here but it’s all I could say to sum up the weekend’s news.
Listen to this;

FRIDAY 8th FEBRUARY

Deal will create joint government in Kenya

Kenya's ruling party and opposition have agreed to form a power-sharing government in an effort to end weeks of bloodshed that have engulfed the country since a deeply flawed election, an opposition lawmaker said Friday.

Former U.N. leader Kofi Annan will lead the talks to forge a unified government in Kenya.

The two sides were still discussing who would lead the government and what roles each party would play, said William Ruto, a lawmaker from the opposition Orange Democratic Movement.

"We have finally agreed that there is a problem in the country and neither side can proceed on its own," Ruto said. "We have agreed to form a joint government. Details of that government, its time and how to share it are under discussions."

Ok, so then we went “Woo Hoo” and did a little jolly jig about the room, but then;

SATURDAY 9th FEBRUARY

Don’t rush into power sharing, Kalonzo warns

Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka has said the government was committed to the ongoing dialogue, but warned against rushing into a power-sharing agreement.

Mr Musyoka, who was speaking in Nairobi after arriving from a four-day visit to the US and Britain, said that a power-sharing agreement may not necessarily deal with the causes of the current crisis.

The VP asserted that the government is negotiating in good faith, but added that the political solution being sought must address issues such as who really won the election, and may also need to provide a legal solution.

So the jig slowed and we went “Eh, er, what on earth does he mean?”, and then Sunday’s paper’s came out and we had;

SUNDAY 10th FEBRUARY

We will stop at nothing but the presidency, says Pentagon

ODM has reaffirmed its commitment to the ongoing mediation but declared it would go for nothing short of the presidency.

Party leader, Mr Raila Odinga, led 43 MPs in stating they would not relent in efforts to capture the presidency, which was allegedly stolen from them.

Speaking during the burial of the slain former Ainamoi MP, David Kimutai Too, in Kericho District, on Saturday, the MPs reiterated their commitment to the mediation talks.

They also said they would not betray the trust Kenyans have entrusted on them.

"We have accepted to talk with PNU but we assure our supporters we will not settle for a solution that betrays their cause," Raila said.

He said ODM was aware that millions of Kenyans who voted for him and the party MPs would not accept to be short-changed by PNU in the talks.

Raila also urged Kenyans to give Mr Kofi Annan’s team a chance to resolve the political crisis.
He added that Kibaki and other PNU leaders were resisting pressure to relinquish power which, he said, they acquired illegally.

"If Kenyans managed to successfully fight the British Empire and freed the country from the colonial yoke, Kibaki and his foot soldiers will be defeated and when all is settled, this whole thing will look like a storm in a tea cup," he said.

Raila also said normalcy would not return unless justice was done, adding that mediation efforts should be based on peace and justice.

Ruto said nothing would stop ODM and its followers from getting justice.

"Change comes through struggle and ODM supporters should not relent in their fight for their deserved victory," said the Eldoret North MP.

He said they adequately represented ODM supporters at the Kofi Annan-led mediation talks. He assured that the party would have a say in the final decision.

But, but, but, I'm sorry are these the same people talking here? Did I completely miss a memo somewhere that says "Say one thing to the press and another to Mr Annan, and things will be marvellous and squishy and don't worry about a thing, we are so sorting it here!"

Do we look like complete morons ?

I'm afraid I'm going to have to stick with my hero Mr Annan and ignore the bloody lot of them until someone says something that might just be put into writing and might actually be taken seriously! Until then I'm going to put my dark glasses on, read nothing, put my fingers in my ears and go "LA LA LA LA" really really loud!

Of course with my big mouth, I couldn't possibly say nothing.

In fact just to start off with the "La, La, La" stories, I've got a good one for you;

You remember the fellow Imanyara who got into a spot of bother with the dear lady Lucy Kibaki, who by the way, did not shoot her son Jimmy in the foot - apparently - Mmm, OK Jimmy, that's cool.

Well, according the Meru elders from Immanyara's tribe, who held a bit of a pow wow over the whole thing, they have asked that Immanyara hold off from his court case for the minute and let the elders deal with the nonsense in their tribal traditions.

Well that means, they are going to call on Mr. Kibaki at State House and demand that he pays them one goat for not controlling his missus. In their tradition, it is very 'unbecoming' of a woman to be going round throwing punches - whether they land or not, they add - and it is up to the husband of said woman to pay the consequences, therefore they would like Mr. Kibaki to hand over one goat forthwith! If he refuses to see the elders or to hand over said goat, then apparently Immanyara is free to go ahead with his court case with the full permission of the Meru elders!

Good luck with the goat Lucy ! He He !