"Residents distress cry as blood spills on the mountain side"
"Road blocks manned by murderous gangs"
"More property burnt in border chaos"
"Food shortages as fleeing families crowd camps"
"Militia rules Mt Elgon"
"Man killed in attack raid at trading centre"
"Kenya Red Cross say more than 1,000 people killed in post-election crisis"
- and sadly, this has been the same for the last one month, but then I logged onto the BBC website to see if perhpas they may have cheerier news across the seas and boy do they .....
Well, well, look at this ;
High heels 'may improve sex life'
Wearing higher heels - may improve your pelvic floor muscles and in doing so boost your sex life, a study suggests.
Pelvic floor exercises 'help men too'
The exercises were found to help men with erectile dysfunction as much as taking in Viagra.
Well people how terrific is that? Best we get the Honorable Mwai Kibaki and his rival, the Honorable Raila Odinga into a pair of high heels sharpish as they always say a distinct lack of sex makes men incredibly grumpy, so this must surely be the key. Boost their sex lives and then they will become much more agreeable.
I'll just nip down to the Nairobi Serena Hotel and let Mr Annan know that they should all be tarting round in heels, get themselves a little more sex, a little less viagra, and we could all live happily ever after.
Oh yes, yes, yes, I am so excited - i'm off to choose for them .......
Now I think Kibaki will look fab in these.
And these will go perfectly with Raila's ODM colours don't you think ........