Friday, February 15, 2008

Mzungu Chick does a David Attenborough

( it is important to put on your best Attenborough accent before you read on!)


And here good people in the middle of the deepest darkest African wilderness we have the most fascinating of all the wild cattle species, the Cape Buffalo.

Notice how he is surrounded by incredible white birds. Known as cattle egrets, these birds are incredibly . . Er . . White and bird like. Watch how the buffalo stares right at us with his "I'm going to fuck you up" eyes, and so therefore it is with much haste we shall depart this great beast and leave him to his birds!

Oh bollocks, it seems good people we are firmly stuck in the mud!

Help, get me out of here, I'm a bloody celebrity for goodness sake!

By the way chaps if you're wondering what's happening with Kofi and his warring chums, word on the street (or in the park anyway) is they're back in Nairobi and will make some kind of statement on what the plan is this morning.

But you probably know more than me anyway, and I've got other more pressing things to deal with like how the hell we're going to get out of this mud hole as I really feel eggs and bacon beckoning and being stuck in this mud is not doing my street cred any good at all can I tell you!

. . . . . Oooh, where'd that buffalo go!

Sent from my BlackBerry®

6 comments:

Primal Sneeze said...

As the old song goes, I think:
Show me a home
Where the buffalo roam
And I show you
A house full of buffalo dung

Anonymous said...

You are incredibly lucky to have seen such a fine sighting of the elusive buffalo egret. Legend has it that the buffalo you so artfully captured was raised by egrets. He is now part of the flock and can sometimes be spotted at dusk roosting in a yellow fever tree. Quite a clumsy flyer but an amazing adaptation of fast flapping ears and jet propulsioned snorting.

Good spotting, pard'ner. It must be your lucky day. Did I ever tell you about the barking spiders in Baringo?

Gorilla Bananas said...

What a ballsy woman you are to go eyeball to eyeball with one of those massive brutes! I think he'd feel better after getting seen to by an oxpecker.

Emil said...

Sounds like you having a real buffalo of a time. Afraid of nothing! Enjoy.

Beach bum said...

Its behind you!

Oh yes and on the more serious matter of Kofi - seems like there is something in the offing for a new constitution within one year. And Condoleeza Rice will be visiting soon... but we wait with bated buffalo breath to hear the details tomorrow from the horse's mouth - to keep up the animal theme...

MZUNGU CHICK said...

Primal - I can't believe you put that song in my head, I've been humming ever since!

Luckily we didn't get stuck in that buffalo dung though I must say.

Anon - looking forward to the Baringo barking spider story!

Mr Bananas - you'll be pleased to know he got a jolly good seeing to by an oxpecker shortly afterwards.

Emil - you'd be afraid by what I'm afraid of!

Beach Bum - thx for update.